and there he goes... Leaving this town until no one knows when. Labeling me as the past. Bit by bit forgetting everything. Come on, kid. Reading the word 'udah' doesn't slap you in your face enough? Come on. Come back here and face reality.

A : Emang lo nggak punya pacar?
B : Nggak.
A : Kenapa?
B : Ya terserah gue dong!
A : Serius... kenapaaa?
B : Soalnya gue mau fokus sama......
A : .......
B : .......
A : .......
B : ....... (malah main hp)
A : Sama apaan?
B : Lah, kaga tau..
A : Lah?
Both : Myahahahahaha.

Yah, lupakan.

:-)

introduction.

Morning!

Halo, my name is lou-lou. You can call me Lulu. Well, that's the same.

I am 1 year old.

Aunt Ashley gave me to Aunt Babas yesterday.

I can't stand cold weather so I always wearing a shawl. A blue shawl.

I am much nicer than Tani.

I just knew her last night and she kept saying 'pak yu' and 'kich ma eysh'. I hate that kid!

I love to hug people and meeting new people.

Aunt Babas hugs me everytime she's asleep.

And we read books together.

I also love to sing!

You know my favorite song?
Here, I'll sing it for you.

I love you, you love me, we are happy family
with a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you,
won't you say you love me too?

10 person I'd like to meet before I die.

1. Aung San Suu Kyi

Why don't you leave your country years ago when you have the chance to see you husband for the last time? Is it nationality? The feeling when you love your messed up country that much? Your faith that democracy will still do good to Burma? Why would you choose 'prison' rather than the man you love?

2. Brandon Boyd

One thing we believe the same, "this isn't coincidence, there's no such thing". Well, I do believe the same, Mister. I swear to God, If I got to meet you in person, I'll go down on my knees and I'll say, "would you marry me?". Yes, I am that crazy for him. Look at his abs! Hotness!

3. Chuck Palahniuk

To write a book, is a talent. To make those kind of stories, is a gift. I collect all his books since the first time I read 'Haunted' and all of a sudden I've gone crazy for him. And to write those memorable satirical quotes, good lord, what's in your head, really?

4. Fira Basuki

A full time mother, editor in-chief of the best woman magazine in town, a brilliant writer and a beautiful one too. Could you ask for more? Her beauty put a spell on every guy she passes, but her brain makes me freeze my feet everytime she walks by. Ironically, I've worked in the same area with her. But then, I couldn't say a thing to her because I am her biggest fan! She makes me look like a looser back on high school. But still, I wish I could say it out loud in front of her face someday, "I am the biggest fan of yours that you could possibly met".

5. George W. Bush

Do you know how much Iraq war monthly cost? $9.000.000.000. Funny how big goverment willing to spend more to create havoc than give assistance, in the middle of their own crisis. seriously, crackhead, what was your thinking???

6. Megamind


The stupidest super villain I ever knew. But sometimes, being bad is the result from some unfortunate situations. And Megamind, he never give up eventhough he knew, he wouldn't win the match. :)

7. Desi Anwar

Senior Anchor slash TV Journalist and Producer slash a Writer slash Photographer, plus Media & Communications Specialist. My God, is there anything you're not even good at? Thanks God, I've been the bestfriend of Anwar's family so I get to meet her every once awhile. But still, I've become this stupid donkey everytime I'm standing in front of my idol. So this one time, I came to her house in Bintaro with my bestfriend. And there I am, sitting in front of her tv, freezing like a sculpture. "Basitha mau es krim?" she offered me a magnum. "Eng... eh.. boleh..." ....................... crap. better shot my head with a magnum.

8. Marilyn Manson


Palahniuk wrote about him in his 'Stranger Than Fiction' book, which contains a bunch of strange things happen in our world nowadays. Manson's included. His journey begins as a sick kid with an accute pneumonia then end up as a sick adult with his strange makeup and dark music. Sounds like a dark tale I've ever heard of a human life.

Once I've ran to you,

(I ran)

Now I run from you,

This tainted love you given,

I give you all a boy could give you,

take my tears,

and that's not nearly all,

Tainted Love,

Tainted love.

Uber cool!!

9. Brody Dalle


A guitar goddess, a rockstar attitude, an outstanding fashion statement and a voice that'll crack your ear. Brody Dalle, the symbol of a powerful sexiness you can't even bear. I love you, brody!

10. Paris Hilton


I love her bitchiness persona! Enough said. :p

Go Outside - Cults

* some badly drown boy-esque sound that we miss

I really want to go out
I really want to go outside and stop to see your day
You really want to hole up
You really want to stay inside and sleep the light away

I really want to go out
I really want to go outside and make it light all day
You really want to hole up
You really want to stay inside and not care where you lay

Well I know what's good (gold?)
Exactly cause I have been there before
Yeah I know what's good (gold?)
Exactly those things night cannot behold

I really want to go out
I really want to go outside and stop to see your day
You really want to hole up
You really want to stay inside and sleep the light away

I think it's good to go out
cause if you don't you'll never make a memory that will stay
I think that you should wake up
I think I want to live my life and you're just in my way

horay! :)

Guess I've found my mood and my passion back. Glad to have you back, guys. Now every night, there are only stories, typing, and laptop on my mind. Everything's been great eventhough life's still sucks.

humanity.

Pernah terbersit nggak sih di otak kalian (hah? siapa kalian? emang ada yang baca? hahaha) kalau bencana itu terkadang ada untuk 'memanusiakan' manusia di bumi ini? Nggak usah sok-sok sebumi dulu deh, saya bicara tentang Indonesia dulu ya. Sebelum Wasior, banjir Jakarta, Merapi dan Mentawai yang bertubi-tubi, orang cuma ribut soal traffic, maki-maki Fauzi Bowo, ribut ditinggal pacar, duit abis melulu, ngerasa nggak punya baju padahal berdiri di depan tumpukan baju di lemari (haha ini termasuk saya sih), and no one really cares. I mean, saya yakin (mudah-mudahan) semua pasti tidak lupa menyisihkan sebagian pendapatan tiap bulannya untuk mereka yang membutuhkan. Tapi saya juga yakin banyak yang melakukannya hanya atas nama 'kewajiban'. 'Membersihkan' harta. Meskipun mungkin banyak juga yang benar-benar peduli. Saya sendiri mengakui terkadang saya masih jadi bagian dari mereka yang termasuk golongan pertama. Meskipun saya juga masih memendam mimpi ingin membangun NGO dan partisipasi di LSM kemanusiaan.

Well, anyway, bencana bertubi-tubi ini justru kembali 'menyentil' manusia di Indonesia untuk peduli. Mulai deh foto di BBM berganti dengan image #prayforindonesia. Doa-doa dan harapan virtual bagi Indonesia pun mengalir melalui hashtag tersebut di Twitter. Broadcast massage dan informasi nomor rekening bantuan bencana, posko bantuan bencana juga ditampilkan dimana2 (say thanks to technology 'cause right now everything's so easy!). Lihat? Bencana selalu bisa membuat negeri ini bersatu. Menggelitik sisi kemanusiaan dari sudut hati orang-orang yang tiap hari mengomel karena masalah.

Bagi keluarga korban, semoga diberi kekuatan, kemudahan dan ketabahan. Tuhan itu baik, apapun agamamu. Untuk para korban, semoga mendapatkan tempat terbaik di sisiNya. Untuk teman-teman, jangan pernah tutup hatimu untuk peduli. Life is beautiful, banyak yang jauh lebih tidak beruntung dari kita. Salurkan bantuanmu dalam bentuk apapun yang kamu bisa, meskipun hanya seuntai doa, kalau memang hanya itu yang kalian mampu lakukan. One voice do count.

Oh iya, hey kalian relawan-relawan tak takut mati yang dulu meminta dikirim ke Palestina, lebih baik ke Wasior, Merapi atau Mentawai dulu deh. Mereka juga butuh bantuan kalian kok. :)

Be strong, humans. :-)

You can tear my family apart, You can take the person that I love, but please.... please... not my dreams... please... :(

accessories.

As I sit here, quietly, watching my fingers move constantly over the keyboard, then I catch a glimpse of a sentimental feeling. My right hand, has some accessories on it. And funny how all of them has their stories. None of them expensive nor good looking, in fact they look so worn out because I've never took them off. Inspite of their ugly appearances, they're priceless for they are represent people and their meaning to my life. And looking at those old pictures, I'm thinking, funny how time flies so fast. One time someone means the world to me, the other time, they're just a past. and vice versa. And I'm happy for those who already moved on. May life ahead far better than before, friends. :-)

quote of the day

"What you don’t like is what you often will learn from."

— Ben Laksana.

Is it true my friend, that true love won't fade away?
Or are we just being completely human afterall?

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1.02.28

My Deepest Condolence.

This morning, a father of my beloved bestfriend, Jessica Nathalia, passed away. Heart attack. Left her unprepared, devastated. And there I was, looking at one of the toughest woman I know, fell down on her knees. Crying out loud. And it breaks my heart. One more step to reach her dream, but God has another plan. All the late night phone-calls, sea snorkles, their special father-daughter relationship, now they stayed memories.

Be tough my bestfriend, for your own good, and for your family. You're the one who always chanting your prayers for me everytime I got into a problem, now it's my turn, to pray for your happiness and strength. To pray for the best place your father will deserve alongside God, The Almighty. To pray for your dreams and spirit to live on. To pray that love and laugh will always be on your path.

You still got gazillion families, friends, and one superguy called Danang. You will always have us. I know it wouldn't be the same, but it's true that you will always have us on your side. And we all wait, my friend. Wait for your smile to come back upon your face. Wait for this little thing to get up again. But meanwhile, we'll do our job. To always be there for you.

Chin up, Jessi. We love you more than you could ever imagine. :-)

Love, your bestfriend.

Books we bought last night.

"If you don't know what to do, you do nothing, don't you? Absolutely nothing. Then inwardly, you are completely silent. Do you understand what that means? It means that you are not seeking, not wanting, not pursuing; there is no centre at all. Then, there is love." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

Time froze, as we made our way back there once more.

23??

I hate it when people say, " Ah, kamu kan baru 23..." . Oh please, 23 itu bukan 'baru' ya, tapi 'udah'. In my humble opinion, the life after 23, time flies. You have almost no time to reach your dreams. Routines, traffic jam and time itself left no room for you to pursuit your biggest desire in your life, IF, you don't do something about it earlier. Well, maybe it isn't desire to be exact, but... hmm... passion. passion on things you really wanted to do then achieve something for it. I do not want to be known, I want to be remembered. and I think 23 supposed to be a good start, because you just graduated and your head still craving for knowledge.Not to self, there are soooo many people which succeed even at their younger age.

And look who I am right now. Stuck in a cubicle doing a job I don't even like (but unfortunately, I need this job), still have no clue on how to reach my dreams, and my efforts didn't seem like coming out ok.

the biggest problem of it all, WHY DO I HAVE TO ALWAYS PROCRASTINATE EVERYTHING? aaaarrrggggghhhh... Ben, haven't write anything :-ss I need time and inspirations :D and I promise I'll write soon. nyehehehehe.

ship.

Niat berburu scholarship berbuntut keluhan saya dengan grammar Bahasa Inggris yang masih berantakan. Ini yang juga agak menjadi pikiran saya dalam hal tulis menulis. Seorang pengarang favorit saya pernah mengatakan, jangan pernah berharap bisa menjadi penulis yang baik kalau nggak suka baca. Karena, dari mana ilham bisa datang dan gimana kemampuan menyusun kata itu bisa ada kalau nggak diasah lewat membaca? I do really love to read. and I'm dying to have my own library. Tapi pr-nya, kadang saya terlalu malas membaca buku-buku yang tergolong berat. Baru beberapa lembar saja saya bisa tertidur. Sementara cita-cita saya tidak hanya mau menulis chicklit, tapi menulis sebuah buku yang bermakna. Buku serius terakhir yang saya baca adalah Earth on a Balance - Al Gore dan bukunya Kegley yang buku wajib mahasiswa politik. hehehe. Terusssssssssssss kalo saya begini terus, gimana saya mau bikin motivational letter and most importantly, thesis dalam bahasa Inggris baku yang baik dan benarr??? pe er....

Akhirnya? Saya dapat PR dari Ben Laksana, my beloved bestfriend, untuk membuat sebuah tulisan dalam Bahasa Inggris yang nantinya grammar-nya akan dia betulkan. Giliran nggak disuruh, kenapa nulis ngalir aja ya? Giliran disuruh, malah bingung mau nulis apa. Dasar mental mahasiswa, disuruh-suruh malah mandek. -__-

Anyway, one invitation flown to my inbox. Czech Republic still waiting for my attendance in their conference and they're willing to wait for me until I am 25. The next conference's coming in December and once again, I have to skip. Kalo kata Mbak Dita, I am capable with financial incapability. hahaha. yeah fair enough. Mungkin sebelum umur 25 akan ada uang jatuh dari langit yang membuat saya bisa terbang ke Cheko. Karena, sebenernya sayang banget kalo nggak pergi mengingat disana saya bisa mempertanggung jawabkan sudut pandang saya mengenai human rights yang saya paparkan dalam tulisan yang saya kirim. please please God let it be true.

Tapi memang when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. Tadi pagi saya sedang memutar otak bagaimana selambat-lambatnya tahun depan saya bisa kuliah lagi, et voila! Saya dan Ben menemukan Fulbright and Thanks God he is my biggest supporter to get it. I am sooo lucky to have a bestfriend like you, Ben. not just correcting my grammar, we made promise to try it together. Journalism and Women Studies. But first, mau bikin tulisan apaaa.... zzzzzzzzzzzz....

I'm glad we figured things out. As our last desperate attempt to still be together, I hope this will work out well. I don't know if I should be glad to have you back or not, one thing for sure, I won't live my days with all those 'what if's' haunting my mind, and I will give it my best shot. cheers. :-)

Beautiful memories break me more than 'he's a jerk' mantra.
And ‎​I wanted to believe in that person so much that we only see what I wanted to see.
And hear what I wanted to hear.

God, I do have the world's excuse to be miserable today.

random post number well i lost track of it.

did you know?

ternyata Indonesia adalah ibukota Twitter di Asia Tenggara (penting abis) dan mengalami rate pertumbuhan tertinggi (dalam Twitter) ketiga setelah AS sama UK. The good thing is, it means Indonesians are all quite technology conscious. The bad thing is, when it comes to nyampah Indonesians juga paling bersemangat. I remember, Olla made me my Twitter account somewhere around November 2009 and I didn't really use it because hadn't really found the fun part of twittering rather than showing off your nothingness and your privacy to public. which is lame. but then, I have completely nothing to do in my office then I've become one of them yang suka nyampah di twitter. hahahaha. so I really do participate to those who successfully made Indonesia as a capital city of Twitter in South-east Asia. Hell yeah!

Looking into my smaller abs really do give some comfort to myself since Bali's coming at the end of october! yay! Ms. Haniza Thaharah, may we have a wonderful flight together (yeah right). But looking into my boobs and ass. Oh shees, I really do have to gain back some kilos. Later, after october pass. Because I want to show off my new bikini!

apalagi ya? tadi kaya banyak yang mau ditulis skrg lupa aja gitu. zzzzzzz

ayoo dooonggg bisa dooong... fffffuuuuuuccckkkk.... bisa dooonggg!!! aaarrrrggghhhhhh...

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1.02.28

Does God gonna punish me if I say I am in fact believing every single God and their meanings to their religions?

The Leap Year

So yesterday, I just watched The Leap Year and totally fallen in love with Matthew Goode. Oh God, mau bangeeeetttt punya pacar bule tinggi berantakan tampan and a home-bar owner like Declan O'callaghan. *drooling* Terus yang cuek cuek tapi diem-diem ngelamar gituuuu hahahaha. dan yang dingin sama wanita (nahhh ini nih yang paling penting nggak mencla mencle kesana kemari).somehow gue emang selalu suka sama film-film romantic comedy dengan alur from enemies to lovers gitu, and this is one of those movies. Bedanya, The Leap Year nggak ada norak-noraknya sama sekali dan di setiap kejadian yang supposed to be romantic, adaaaaa aja kejadian yang ngerusak scene itu. Padahal yang nonton udah nebak-nebak "abis ini pasti kissing scene.. abis ini mereka pasti liat2an terus kissing.." (hmmm ya atau otak gue aja yang terlalu porno) tapi semua tebak-tebakan itu salah saudara-saudara. Karena pasti ada something happen yang membuat moment itu rusak. Tapi jadi membangun rasa penasaran dan somehow bikin chemistry mereka makin dapet gitu dan gue ikut ngerasssaaaaa (sotoy berat)

One more point for this movie, it is setting up in Ireland jadi sepanjang film kita disuguhi pemandangan Dingle Peninsula, desa pinggir laut di Ireland which breathtakingly magnificent! Ada satu scene waktu mereka lagi nunggu kereta, stasiun keretanya tuh yang kecil dan dikelilingi rumput gituuuu bagus bangeeettt sumpaaahhh. dan sambil nunggu keretanya dateng mereka jalan-jalan ke reruntuhan kastil yang sumpaaahhhh bagusssss bangeeeetttt dan Matthew Goode ganteeeeng bangeeetttt (tetep). dan ada satu scene mereka lagi di depan danau gitu, sebenernya danaunya sih yaa iya sihhh baguss tp kayanya di Indonesia juga banyak yang kaya gitu minus alay-alaynya. Tapi pengambilan gambarnya tuh pas malem jadi mereka berdua cuma siluet dan cahaya bulannya mantul-mantul gitu ke air danaunya. HADOOOOHHH GILAAAA MAU BANGET GUEEEEE.

awww.. *ngiri*

oh dan ini agak spoiler so don't continue reading if you planning on watching this movie. jadi endingnya, si Amy Adams itu dilamar di tebing-tebing tinggi Dingle gitu and they kissed. aaahhh gilaaaa pas nonton itu gue nangisssss dengan bencongnya gue nangissss doooong... nggak tau kenapa tapi sumpah ngirinya pooollll. fakkeee aaahhh.

dan quote yang gue inget dari film ini:
“May you never steal, lie or cheat. But if you have to steal, then steal away my sorrows. If you have to lie, then lie with me all the nights of our life. If you have to cheat, then cheat death because I don’t want to live a day without you”

Gilaaaa orang gombal manaaa yang bisa bikin kata-kata seperti itu. but it was such a beautiful words to say. dan kalo ada... KALO ADA cowo yang ngomong gitu ke gue, gue pasti akan terjun ke laut saking malu-malu tapi maunya. awww...

Dan gue suka banget sama konsep "what would you grab if you have only 60 seconds to leave the building when it's on fire?"

Tapi kalo wedding vow, nggak ada yang ngalahin wedding vow-nya Paul Morgan di Did You Hear About The Morgan sih:

"I promise never to take you for granted or utter a word unkind. Never allow my affections to be recanted or stop marveling at your behind. To also marvel at your warmth, your wit, your refusal to condone animal slaughter, your wisdom, your laugh, your inability to boil water. To be your best friend for the rest of my life and to thank the God ,you're not sure about, for fooling you into being my wife."

He wrote it based on Meredith yang nggak bisa masak, anggota PETA yang asli vegetarian dan seorang Agnostic yang nggak percaya Tuhan and it is strangely beautiful when people play words to express their feelings. hahaha. udah ah pagi-pagi gue udah nggak jelas.

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1.02.28