selamat menjalankan ibadah puasa!!

Loves It!

Everytime me and my girls talk about sex and the city they always thought i'm the samantha. you know, wild, careless and love to try new things. But actually, I love carrie more than Samantha. I mean, she's smart and she has her own column in a New York Post. I remember some episodes where Carrie met this amazing guy, Aiden Shaw, who loves her very much and he has everything a girl could ask for. he's all that. and they gone through this amazing relationship. however, Carrie cheated behind his back, with mr.big. she thought Aiden is the one she needs but Big is the one she wants. at the end she confessed everything to aiden and they ended their relationship eventhough she didn't end up with Big either. end of story. no. sometimes later, carrie met Aiden once again. accidentally. By the time, Aiden was already being with someone. then something strucked Carrie. like the old man says 'you don't know what you got till it's gone'. she knew right there and then she wants aiden, she still loves him. eventhough she has hurt him but she knew it was a mistake. she took him for granted but she regret it. and then she strives to get him back. being a pain in the ass for Aiden, follow him everywhere. but then they get back together. Aiden forgiae her and they even move together. happy ending? no. at the end aiden proposed to her but she refused thinking that she's not sure if married to aiden is what she wants with her life.

courtesy of Harper's Bazaar US

God I love these pics. but these are a photo spread pictures for some magazine. But I found some more interesting pictures of Carrie and Aiden from their scenes, so it's more touching I think.
I remember this scene. it's when they ended their first relationship. eventhough they still love each other but Aiden couldn't accept what carrie did behind her back. which i think it adds up more sad feeling to it's stories.
and it's when they're ended their second relationship. they knew they love each other very much and care about each other. but living together has drive them crazy sometimes till they get to the part where they're not sure if being together for the rest of their lives is what they really want.
and I hate it when Mr. Big took her back. But come ooooonnn. it wouldn't be an interesting story if she ends up with Aiden Shaw.

the new page.

I start looking for a job. there's some positions I really want in some offices and I need your best wish so that maybe it could bring me some luck. you know I'm lying around too much. but lately, I can't work on my thesis but I don't have other things to do either, at the end I was just mourning my lost all day. I have to change that. I have to be something of my own. Maybe I can't sing in band, I just sing in inul vista. Maybe can't have my own hairsalon, and that's really not my thing. I mean, cutting people's hair??? are you kidding?? I might cut their head along with the hair. But maybe I can work. work my ass off until I get what I want. Maybe I can learn to be a real hardworker. that's life right? life is a hardwork. So I have to earn every achievement and accept every failure. I want to be a writer. I have to earn that, no, STRIVE! I have to prove that I'm exist. this isn't a competition. I was wrong. this is my own game, where I have to prove my capability to the world so that I might have something to hold on to when it's happen again and again. like, maybe she owns that boutique, she plays a guitar, I can say, "SO WHAT? I"M A WRITER AND I LOVE WHAT I DO. I DON"T CARE WHAT YOU DO. we have different talents I won't bother thinking about having talents that you have. we succeed in our own way afterall."

someday, I want to say that out loud. I wish myself some luck.

I'm doooooneeeeeeee...

I was growing up in a religious institutions as a kid and a teenager. I went through some famous muslim schools which later make me so tired of those renungan rohani things. The thing where you have to sit down on the floor, bowing to the ground, closing your eyes then you hear one of your mentors told you some sad stories, about how you'd been a pain in the ass to your parents, how you'd been a sinner etc etc. i mean, none of that is wrong and I do believe they have a good intentions showing it. But i'm sick of those crying voice. you knoe the one that goes "huuuhuuu..." or "hiks hiks..." or everything. I've felt like biggest sinner ever in some part of my life but I never felt so close to god like when I'm alone and chanting my prayers alone, only me and HIM know. but hearing those snorting voices made me angry like, 'ganggu banget si lo?' haha sorry if i'm too harsh. hahaha. but it really is the fact.

maybe it's based on the fact that i'm bored shitless. i went to this religious seminary at my mom's office and it's fun. WAY MORE FUN than what i've thought. and i've absorbed so many new informations and knowledges i've never known before. but it was sooo loooong. we started at 8 in the morning where I've arrived at the location at 7 am. then we go all the way till 7 pm. i literally want to die. tired. i enjoyed the renungan rohani part cause i think it made you realized your sins but then i'm done with all those snorting voices. HAAAAA!!!
I went through a lotta these for the rest of mylife resulting numb feelings toward sensitive issues like these. I was not crying not even a single tears. I just wanted to go home for that I couldn't concentrate. hahaha