The three first people who congratulate me are...

Directly: My brother, Banu. It was funny though since we never had a sensitive relation before. We always tell each other about our friends, our love, our stories but we nener hugged, never kissed one another, never said sorry or those other sweet relations. But later that night, he came to my room, said happy birthday to me, kissed my cheeks and said sorry that he couldn't give me any present this year. haha it's ok brother. I'm happy enough without any present.

Phone: Ashley, my bestfriend since I'm on my junior high school. thanks for your pray.

Sms: surprisingly, It's Aswin. thanks for your time and attention to me, Win.

and I got a surprised later this day.

cheers everybody! have a very great wonderful day!

Ini nih!

Lo pernah denger ini nggak??

Time will do it works, but the chance is ours to make.

Dan ini kurang lebih sama kan sama kalimat Tuhan tidak akan merubah nasib kaumnya kecuali mereka juga merubah nasib mereka sendiri apa gimanaaa gitu gue lupa kata2 persisnya. dan yaaaaaaa heeeyyy teman2 gue yang sedang berputus asa (termasuk gue juga sih). Tuhan memang akan membantu, luck and time juga have their own roles. tapi, semuanya kuncinya itu satu, USAHA.

dan gue sebel sih, kenapa some people have to work their ass off to get something while on the other hand, there are people who get everything they want without a single effort??

tapi namanya juga dunia ya. memang terkadang tidak adil.

this shoes are killing me!!

I bought this shoes couple of months ago because I think it will fit my short legs perfectly and I want to be the belle of the ball in certain events in my campus which required you to wear high heels. and yes, my shoes were the center of attention back in the day when I'm sure everyone had no idea how much pain it caused me. It's worth the pain though and it's worth the price because everyone complimented the shoes.

I just got back from my friend's wedding ceremony and I wore this shoes, after the ceremony me and my friends went to the karaoke lounge and I wore these shoes all along. and THE SHOES IS KILLING ME!! I feel an enormous pain on my feet. I have to wear it more often so maybe later my feet will get used to it. I walked like a robot. It hurts so much FUCKER. but again, yeeeeeeessss i admit it's worth the pain and the price. Oh my god it's so hard to be beautiful.

eww.

I don't know why so many people are obsessed to be socialite. It seems so shallow. hey, no offense, I know some of the socialite's girls also have a majorly good grades and great business skills and I don't think there's anymore rules like beautiful girl got no brain or smart girls are ugly. no. I think these days there are so many girls around who has everything in theirselves. again, simply it's just luck. and I appreciate them who are friggin' smart, beautiful and using their brains for usefull acts. not just for party or shopping. I do appreciate them. but when someone from a regular caste -just like me- had a dream for being a socialite just because they got wowed by their blink2 life, I think it's too shallow. and I pity them. esp when those dreams come without brains, talents or even hard work. I just wanna say, goodluck with your dreams and don't blame me if later I laugh so hard on you when we meet again and what I see is just you, without significant changes. haha.

I will share my dreams.

Not quite recently, one of my friends, posted her plans for her wedding party on her blog. it's not like she's gonna do it in one or two years ahead but there's nothing wrong to keep on dreaming and sharing it with people right?? and oh, us, girls, don't we all like those all sort of planning every little detail in a party?? since the 17 birthday bash is not my field anymore, so it's my turn to share my wedding dreams to you! hihihi. it's fun it's fun!

First, the concept. I never liked those traditional ceremonies in Indonesia. it seems boring, old and a waste of money for me esp for inviting the strangers part. yea, sometimes people invite up to one thousand or more guests just to make the bride and the groom heavily tired at the end of the day for hand shaking with people they don't even know who. it's their day, but they have no fun in it. so, my concept will be, in the morning the will be akad nikah for families and relatives including my parents' friends and relatives whom I don't even know some of them. and then, at night, it will be my private party for our closest friends and relatives for maximum 500 person. I already knew the place. it's in DECANTER!! yeay! it's a great wine tasting place with a homey situation in Kuningan Plaza. and you certainly don't need a decorator! ot even preston bailey, hey, no offense to everyone, but I'd rather spend my money for honeymooning all around the world.

And it will be western-like party where me and my groom will all go mingle with the guests all night long. and we will all singing and dancing together. of course there will be my first dance with my dad, and then my husband taken over and everyone will all go slow dancing together. haha. yeah, I want it to be relaxing event.
and I will not wear all those kebaya that are very gerah! for the dress I don't like something too lebay but I don't like something too simple either. I like a simple dress that clearly showing my curves and it has to be beautiful with all the beads and embroideries. I hope it will be from my favourite designer, Valentino, that will make me feel sexy or from monique lhuiller who will turn me into a one day princess. maybe some like it will work.


I will not bun my hair. I will just let it all hang with the big wave on it. so, it'll be very fun!! unfortunately, I don't know who is the groom just yet. haha. ah and for you who don't know, I have this strange obsession towards wedding since I was a child. so, now you know why I post this.

a little jaded.

I've seen the future in the tracks of your tears
Our love, girl, is going through changes
I don't know if I'm alive, dead, dying or just a little jaded.

The Stone Roses - Tears.

Put, seru ya ternyata bikin bulletin board things ini.haha.

001. Real name : Dwitya Indiana Basitha
002. Like it? : loves it
003. Nickname(s) : Babas, waci, baskin, baskutil, basokit--> ini yang paling gue benci.
004. Status : currently single and looking
005. Zodiac sign : gemini
006. Male or female : female
007. Elementary : SD Asy-syafiiyah 02.
008. Middle School : SMP Al-Azhar Kemang Pratama
009. High School : SMA Al-Azhar Kemang Pratama
010. Hair color : black
011. Long or short : very short.
012. Eye color : black
013. Weight : 46 kg
014. Height : 153 cm
015. Righty or lefty : righty
016. Loud or Quiet : loud
017. Sweats or Jeans : jeans of course
018. Phone or Camera : phone
019. Health freak : hell no
020. Piercings? : yes
021. Do you have a crush on someone? : yes,definitely!
022. Eat or Drink : drink
023. Purse or Backpack : backpack
024. Tattoos : I will someday when I find the space in my religion's rules.
025. Do You Like Yourself? : no
026. Current worry? : skripsi kapan selesainya ini HEY??

THIS OR THAT:
027. Orange or Apple Juice? : orange juice
028. Night or Day? : night
029. Sun or Moon? : moon
030. TV or Internet? : internet
031.PlayStation or XBox? : play station
032. Kiss or Hug? : hug
033. Iguana or Turtle? : turtles
034. Spider or Bee? : bee
035. Fall or Spring? : spring
036. Limewire or iTunes? : iTunes.
037. Soccer or Baseball? : soccer. at least i like to watch it.

FIRSTS:
038. First surgery : never. thanks God never.
039. First piercing : when I was still I baby I guess.
040. First best friend : Asti. still in kindergarten. I don't even know where the hell she is since i'm on my elementary school.
041. First Sport? : gymnastics
042. First award : fashion show when i was in elementary school.
043. First crush : Bayu. Hey, every girl on my elementary school likes him!!
044. First pet : fishes.
045. First big vacation : Singapore, i think
046. First big birthday : I don't remember since every single birthday of mine was always celebrated when I was a child.

CURRENTLY:
047. Eating : raisins. it's not fattening.
048. Drinking : mineral water
049. I'm about to : trashing myself on the net
050. Listening to : Kelly Sweet - Raincoats. thanks wita!
051. Singing? : Dubstar - Star
052. Typing? : this
053. Waiting for : some sms from guy I like.

YOUR FUTURE:
054. Want kids? : yes. many of them.
055. When? : I don't know yet.
056. Want to get married? : of course.
057. When? : I hope it will be next year or this year if it's possible. wish me some luck would you?
058. Where Do You Want To Live? : Italy for sure.
059. Careers in mind : News Caster, Editor in Chief in some lifestyle magazine, build my own line in retail industry.
060. What Did You Want To Be When You Were Little? : Miss Universe. Lol.
061. Mellow Future Or Wild? : WILD!
062. Something You Would Never Try? : touch fowls, dead or alive!!

WHICH IS BETTER WITH BOY?
063. Lips or eyes : lips
064. Shorter or taller? : much taller of course
065. Romantic or spontaneous : romantic
066. Nice stomach or nice arms : nice arms
067. Sensitive or loud : sensitive
068. Hook-up or relationship : relationship with a clear commitment
069. Trouble maker or hesitant : hesitant
070. Hugging or Kissing? : kissing
071. Tan Skinned or Light? : light skin. from some certain race if it's possible. haha.
072. Dark or Light Hair? : dark
073. Muscular or Normal? : normal

HAVE YOU EVER:
074. Lost glasses/contacts : right about now
075. Ran away from home : when I was in senior high. I hate my home's condition that time.
076. Held a gun/knife for self defense? : thank god, no
077. Killed somebody : HELL NO!
078. Broken someone's heart : definitely, yes
079. Been arrested : thank god again, no
080. Cried when someone died : my grandfather. it was the hardest time of my life
081. Kissed A Stranger? : yes and it's funny
082. Climbed Up A Tree? : I forget I think yes
083. Liked A Friend As More Than A Friend? : yes sometimes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
084. Yourself : at times
085. Miracles : no. I do believe in hard work and luck
086. Love at first sight : no. like at the first sight maybe
087. Heaven : yes
088. Santa Claus : no but I wish they were real. I mean, they are the positive passions of christmas!
089. Kiss on the first date : yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
090. Is there one person you want to be with right now : yes... heeyyy little booyyy I MISS YOU A HELL LOT MORE THAN BEFORE. fa ker
091. Do You Like Someone? : yes
092. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life : no, I'm being unproductive
093. Do you believe in God : yes of course

LASTS
094. Recieved/Sent Text Message : vira
095. Received Call : Ino
096. Call Made? : Ashlei
097. Comment On MySpace? : I don't know since I never open my goddamn myspace account I don't even know the password
098. Missed Call? : Prita
099. Person You Hung out With? : Jablay,Gilang,Risky

100. tag tag tag tag tag

Religion Issues.

I created this post based on my -let's just say- observation towards people who always think they're right and spread their beliefs throughout every people. they think in this world there's no right or wrong. No one can guarantee that heaven, hell, or even God is truly exist, religion is useless since it makes good people doing bad things and vice versa. and they try to convince people to have the same perspective and it sickened me.

well, here's what I thought. I agree that in this world there's nothing wrong or right and there's nothing to be really exact. but here's the thing, make it simple, then just do what you think it's right and best. and don't try to bring it around to people trying to convince them to have the same belief. it really is sucks since it's everybody's right to choose what's best for themselves.

YIPPIYAAYYY!!!!

Holidays are within two weeks to be exact and I have LOTS to do. and finding new boyriend is not included in my itinerary. this is my other list about things I need to do on my holiday. (I find this making wish list thing is quite amusing. haha). So, here it goes:

1. Getting my skripshit done perfectly. you can do it!!!
2. Majoring Italian or taking French lessons again, I haven't made my mind yet.
3. Taking IELTS class in TBI. yuck! Hey, I know English is very important but I hate the competition part. there are so many people doing very good in English which pushes you to do better than them. yeah, I never liked that part.
4. Finding another Chuck Palahniuk's books, beside Rant. I didn't know he is well-known here since I haven't heard any of my friends reading his books.
5. Made beautiful dresses out of the fabrics I bought months ago.
6. Gather up with my bestfriends.
7. I will definitely do that injection. Mom, I've made up my mind. I want to do that injection as soon as possible.
8. Well, if it's possible, I want to travel to another country.
9. straightening my bangs. but I haven't made my mind just yet whether it's that important or not.
10. Do more sports and get in shape.

this list may increase or decrease depends on the situation. but right now these are the things pop out in my head spontaneously. Hope I can fill at least 5 out of ten and if that'll really happen, I'll consider myself very lucky. *smooches*

your life stops at 21.

I just opened my junior's blog and there are sooo many stories about never ending assignments and jobs at campus' events. ha! been there done that! ngurusin acara kampus sampe nginep di kampus gara2 backdrop PBB jatoh dan patah, ngedekor ruangan segede gaban cuma bertiga sampe badan gue biru2 dan batuk-batuk karena berhai-hari main cat, ngerjain ujian take home kajis sampe nggak tidur, jadi kordiv LO dan belingsatan pas hari H anak2nya ilang semua,hahahahahaha! mampus sekarang giliran lo semua! hahaha. pas gue ngeliat junior gue pada ngomel2 mengeluh2, well, don't. tau nggak sih lo how empty my life has become since the last semester?

The last semester itu gue uda beneran hampir gila deh tuh. ngerjain bab1 sambil bikin praktek diplomasi yang materinya bener2 baru, belom ngurusin kostum, ngurusin paper, informal meeting sama negara2 lain, anjing yang namanya tepar beneran tepar deh lo. pas semuanya selesai, leganyaaaa luar biasa. tp terus, hari2 gue sekarang bener2 nyampah. gabut total! kadang kalo gue ke kampus, temen2 gue udah tinggal dikiiitttt bgt yang the positive side is we became closer to each other. tapi things to do bener2 berkurang. apalagi kalo skripsi lagi macet gara2 susah data kaya gue kmrn2 dan sekarang. udah. bener2 nggak tau mau ngapain.

within months, I'll become 22 and I'll graduate from my universities and there's the true challenges waiting for me out there. within weeks, I'll face my last examination of this semester and I'll say goodbye to all of my friends for this 3 moths holiday and for those who graduate this July. somehow I feel sad. sekarang kalo gue bosen nyampah, bosen skripsi, gue tinggal ke kampus, banyak anak2 yang bisa gue ajak jalan, gue ajak main,terus kalo gue uda di jakarta, satu per satu mulai kerja, mau ketemu aja pasti susah, weekends waktu buat pacar atau keluarga. lo juga nggak bisa lagi bele2 kaya sekarang, santai2, cengar cengir, karena tantangan hidup yang lo hadapi lebih berat karena lo harus mulai berdiri di kaki lo sendiri setelah selama ini selalu bergantung sama orangtua. lo juga nggak bisa lagi tuh pacaran cuma iseng, main2, karena meskipun misalnya lo belum pengen married dalam waktu dekat nih, tetep aja orangtua atau keluarga lo bakal bawel nanya2 kapan married dan itu tekanan batin tersendiri juga lo. lo yang biasanya nggak bisa nabung, belanja melulu, juga harus mulai me-manage pengeluaran lo, disesuaikan sama gaji lo sendiri nanti, karena meskipun mungkin orangtua masih mau supply, pasti ada rasa nggak enaklah.

itu masih pikiran anak yang insya Allah lulus di umur 21 kaya gue. bagi mereka yang udah diatas 22 dan baru lulus pasti bebannya lebih berat lagi karena kan rasa nggak enaknya terus2an bergantung sama orangtua pasti lebih besar juga. terus kalo sekarang masih bebas punya impian macem2 pengen jadi ini pengen jadi itu, nanti, there are times when you have to cope with reality dimana lo mulai nggak bisa mencapai impian2 lo karena lo harus mempertimbangkan kemampuan lo, hukum aksi-reaksi, sebab-akibat dan faktor paling tai dari semua faktor yang ada. FAKTOR X!! menurut gue ini faktor paling tai karena faktor x nggak bisa dijelaskan dan nggak ada yang bisa lo lakukan buat merubahnya. and then you will find a hard times finding a good friend karena pertemanan di dunia kerja itu pasti diwarnai persaingan buat meraih suatu posisi tertentu. jadi yaaa paling lo temenenan ya segitu2 aja endingnya lo pasti bakal lebih milih temen jaman sma atau kuliah yang lebih real.

enjoy your life while you still can since it stops at 21.

TO MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE - ADELE

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love

Gue lagi males search link-nya deh. cari sendiri ya. haha. nggak mood.

Less is definitely more..

For me, if you dress the simplest way, the more you'll look good. just put some edgy touch and voila! you'll be very smoking! I've tried some mix and match and sometimes it looks good but I never had the guts to wear it to public places since I haven't got that much of a confidence. but mostly its because those 'ribet' stiles that you've found in magazine's fashion spreads are not me. for me, everyday is jeans and t-shirt with some sexy touch. actually, I never tried to look sexy. but the hotter the weather, I choose my shirts to be thinner. and sometimes people complained me esp my mother haha. and did I ever mentioned that I had these short pair of legs. yeah, i'm only 153 cm. so, I prefer my skirts and pants to be very short in order to look higher. right now I really want to look more like these:



That university of nowhere thing is really cool and i'd like to have one of those. while on my daily dose I want to look more like these:
I tried a pair of ankle boots the other day and unfortunately it makes me looks like dwafrs or midgets so I guess I have to stick to pump shoes or stilettos. just don't touch the boots!!I'm dying to have this ripped shirt. since I have underwears collection so everyone can see my cutie underwears! haha!

all pictures courtesy of www.fashiontoast.com

and how I wish I could have a smaller boobs so that I could wear something without my bra on. haha.

The thing is, I have all the things I need to look like this. see through tank tops, hotpants, mini skirts, leggings, black bras and everything except the boots of course but in Indonesia there's no waaayyy you could go out to places looking like these otherwise people will gues you are a PSK. hahaha. cheers!

hahahaha.

Kalo ada orang nanya ke gue, "mau kemana lo bas?"
selama ini gue sering bgt asal jawab. seringnya sih gue jawab "mau fashion show di Milan."
dan biasanya orang yang nanya langsung mati kutu dan cuma nyaut, "tai lo." gitu doang. belakangan ini, gue yang dibikin mati kutu sama Samson orang yang otaknya paling miring dan hal kreatifitas sahut menyahut.

kemaren dia nanya gitu ke gue, "mau kemana lo bas?"
"mau fashion show di Milan."
di luar dugaan dia menjawab."oohhh.. maksud lo Kafe Milan di Buah Batu?"
"..........."
HUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA. sumpah ya samson lo anjing bgt deh. it turns out tempat bernama kafe milan ini juga emang beneran ada di buah batu dan yang gue heran, kok samson tau aja dan kepikiran aja nyautin itu?? hahahahaha. tai.

I admit,

for the very first time in my life, I keep secret just to myself. and it's hard not sharing it with people. especially in times like these.

Kenapa deh gue milih HI ya??

Gue masih inget alasan salah kaprah gue kenapa waktu SMA HI jadi pilihan utama gue.Ok, before i tell you this, I'll explain why. it's inspired by one of my juniors in campus. she kept thinking that she's taking the wrong major which reminds me of myself a couple of years ago. I used to think, we will all learn about cultures of countries in the world, and study different languages. well, it turns out I do learn about cultures and languages but it's just a small part of it. but actually International Relation is all about politics. who gets what and how to get them. use everyways possible. don't bother to be evil, just do everything you can in order to fulfill your interest. we learn about it in a country form. and you have to sharpened your anlysis skill if you want to hang on in this major. I admit it was hard, very hard. even until now, I am not good at analysing thing. no matter how hard i tried, all I get is B never A. anyway, in my campus there's no A- or A+ grade, you just get A, B up till E if you failed the subject.

Awalnya, gue selalu mikir 'anjing anjing sumpah gue salah jurusan banget nih'. mana di kampus gue temenan sama cowok2 yang pinter2nya belingsatan kaya tai gitu. temen2 cw gue sih kebanyakan yang kaya gue gt juga, yaa standar2 aja pengetahuannya. gue bahkan dulu kan nggak pernah baca koran, nggak pernah nonton berita. sementara temen2 cowo gue ini yang kritis2 parah gitu, dari SMA kerjaannya baca koran, nonton berita dll dll. ketinggalan jauh deh gue. dan bukannya terdesak untuk maju, gue malah jadi makin males belajar karena ngerasa ketinggalan. dan balik lagi, I'm not good at analysing things, sementara kalo ujian soalnya selalu analisis2 gitu. and no matter how hard I try, nilai gue jaraang bgt yang 8. selalu 7 koma 7 koma gitu. nyebelin bgt.

But along the way, I learned to cope with all of that shits in this major. dan lama2 gue mulai menemukan tempat dimana gue merasa nyaman di jurusan ini dan kuncinya emang cuma satu, NIAT! yang gue sesali, niat gue ini baru muncul belakangan. seinget gue sih semester hmm.. 5 atau 6 gitu deh. telat emang. but it's better late than never. I remember taking this particular subject called International Relations focusing in the Middle East Area. bahasa Indonesianya Hubungan Internasional Kawasan Timur Tengah dan disingkat jadi HITT di fakultas gue. dan waktu itu gue jadi satu dari segelintir orang yang nekad ngambil mata kuliah ini karena terkenal susah dan njelimet soalnya timur tengah kan daerah sarat konflik dan kerjaannya emang perang melulu. tapi disini baru nemuin passion gue. sumpah HITT itu mata kuliah favorit gue so far. belajar tentang perang Iran-Irak,US-Iran, US-Irak, Israel-Palestina daan sumpaaahhh yaaaa itu seruuuuu bgt bgt bgt. dan disinilah gue baru mulai terdorong untuk belajar. gue mulai pinjem buku-buku tentang US dan timur tengah ke temen2 gue esp Ben, tiap malem kalo YM mulai bawel ngajak Rean ngobrol soal isu2 timur tengah yang gue ketinggalan dan gue mulai rajin baca Arab News secara online buat update issues. di kelas gue selalu rajin nyatet, nggak pernah ngobrol sama sekali dan di kelas lain gue mulai berani aktif. tunjuk tangan dan berpendapat. yang paling gue seneng sih waktu gue berani berpendapat di kelas Kajis (kajian strategis). fyi, kajis ini dosennya emang killer, suka asal tunjuk dan kalo lo nggak bisa jawab suka agak di-underestimate gitu sama dia. tadinya, kalo ditunjuk gue deg2an saking deg2annya nggak bisa jawab terus sering males masuk kelas dia karena males ditunjuk2 lama2 gue jadi sering angkat tangan gitu jawab2 segala macem dan akhirnya si dosennya yang tadinya selalu ngaggep gue angin lalu pun jadi hafal sama muka gue dan sering senyum kalo ketemu gue. dan di semester ini nilai gue juga mulai bagus2. disaat nilai2 diplomasi anak2 jelek dan sedeng gue berhasil dapet 8 sekian, HITT gue dapet A dengan gemilang dan kajis gue juga dapet 8 sekian gitu setelah tadinya cuma 7 sekian 7 sekian. dan akhirnya memutuskan untuk ngambil peran UNHCR dalam pasca perang US-Irak sebagai skripsi. dan kebanggaan tersendiri buat gue waktu temen gue ada yang komen "oh, ternyata lo hi-pol juga ya? gue kira nggak...". well, fyi, hi-pol means high politics which cover higher issue of politics like war, security, arms supply etc while low-pol covers environment issues, poverty issues, etc. meskipun skripsi gue cetek bgt dibandingin those ultra smart people, tapi buat orang kaya gue, words like that are really mean something.

mungkin buat orang2 ultrasmart kaya gitu tuh nggak ada artinya. tapi buat gue yang tadinya nothing banget, itu berarti bgt lho. rasanya seneng bgt pas akhirnya pengetahuan politik lokal gue udah bisa nyusul Rean dan gue nyambung bgt pas diskusi soal politik lokal sama dia, dan gue seneng bgt kalo ada temen2 gue yang nanya ke gue soal Timur Tengah karena many of them were taking Asian Pacific major dan cuma gue yang ngambil timur tengah dan gue bisa menjawab dengan benar. itu pencapaian tersendiri buat gue dan gue bangga meskipun gue tetap menyesali kenapa datengnya telat banget dan kenapa gue tetep nggak jago menganalisis meskipun gue udah bisa selangkah lebih kritis dibandingin dulu waktu baru2 disini.

dan yaaa buat yang lagi merasa didn't belong to this major, well, every major has their own challenges. no one could guarantee you will get a better grade if you change your major. masalahnya bukan terletak di apa yang bisa atau nggak lo pelajari di sini, tapi gimana caranya lo ngalahin semua hambatan yang ada supaya bisa semakin 'masuk' ke mata kuliah atau apapun yang sedang lo jalani. anf if you're able to beat that challenges up than you're successful in your own way even though your not getting any trophy or praise by other people.

tadinya juga gue mikir, 'ah bullshit bgt gue bs survive disini.'. nyatanya, lama2 emang gue bisa kok. itu cuma masalah waktu aja sampe lo nemuin passion lo di jurusan ini. so, chin up peeps!

Said sadly,

Udah denger lagunya belom? yang nyanyiin James Iha feat. Nina Gordon. KEREN BANGET SUMPAH SUMPAH.

You should know that I love you
We should love like lovers do
And I can't help but fall for you
oh honey I'm just a fool
now you know

Darling I'll never be true
You see, for so long I was blue
I'm not the lonely one
and if I hurt, then you would too
oh honey i always lose
now you know

Lover, when will you?
So afraid that no one cares
Lover, can't find you
I swear to God don't leave me here
now you know

Only you know that it can't be
When no one else here really means
Anything to me
If you heard inside
If you could fly to me again
Since you ran away
Hold me now, Tell me how
Nothing's lost

Lover, when will you?
I'm so afraid that no one cares
Lover, can't find you
and no one knows what brings us here
Lover
Hold me now, Hold me now
Tell me how
Nothing's lost

very touching lyrics dont you think? Daaaan nyari link free mp3nya SUSAH BANGET. tapi untung akhirnya gue dapet. yeay!

My hair...

Since I have no gebetan whatsoever I don't really put attention to the way I look right now. maybe some of you remember, one day, I was taking the quiz "5 things you won't leave your home without" or some kind like that ,I'm sorry I forget the exact title of that quiz, but I remember the things I put in there. I won't go without my matching underwear (I'm serious, I have to wear the matching one otherwise I'll be very insecure), my red phones, umbrella, beauty case and STRAIGHT HAIR. seriously. I don't care if I have to wake up so early in the morning just to straightening it up. not always all part of it, sometimes just the bang part.

But lately,I'm too lazy to do that, not in the mood to do that and simply don't want to do that because I feel tired and I think at this time I don't need to impress anyone. It's been 3 days I'm going to campus with my curly hair. and it's not the good kind of curl. Don't imagine it like the nayla alatas' curl with the big swirl here and there. no, not that kind. mine is waaaayyyy horrible. so, yeah, since I already lost my interest toward that boy, I feel like I don't need to make my hair straight anymore. and I look really really disappointing. *giggles*. couple of days ago I went to Inul Vizta and the worker there taken our picture to put it in the front reception and when I saw the picture and it was terrible terrible TERRIBLE! Lol. but I find it funny though. I'm happy with the way I am right now, with the way I look.this is the first time ever I feel ok with my hair. I don't know what makes me. but actually I feel quite happy to ever feel so cuek like this. well, I don't mind people commenting on my nightmare hair, it's their right. and I'm agree that my hair is disaster. and I'm ok with that.

Kadang-kadang gue suka ngebayangin lho, gimana ya kalo gue menjadi wanita dewasa di era 80-an gitu?? I bet my ass artis2 yang main di masa kejayaan warkop DKI pasti sirik beraaattt sama rambut gue. Eva Arnaz, Yati oktavia, pasti pada sirik sama rambut gue yang keriting2 nggak jelas dan poni gue yang selalu melingkar2 kaya keong. di saat mereka harus capek2 ke salon, gue santai2 aja rambut gue udah keriting norak alami gitu kan. hahaha. dan kalo gue sempet ketemu mereka pada waktu itu, mereka pasti komentar gitu ke gue,

"Aduh, rambut kamu oke banget cing! (kan ceritanya 80-an jadi ngomongnya harus gitu). aku tiap hari capek lho harus ke salon ngeriting rambut aku. coba rambut aku kaya kamu ya.." kata eva arnaz dan yati oktavia sambil menatap kagum ke rambut gue sementara gue tersenyum2 jumawa. HAHAHAAHAHAHA. sampah lo bas.

I just want you to know,that...

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, DAD.

hahaha. I don't know what makes me really want to say this to you. we don't even have a problem and I hope there won't be any problems since we already got plenty back then. and i know I have never said that 5 magic words to you for my entire life and maybe I won't say it straight to your face until I don't even know when, but, just in case you're wandering, yes, I do love you so much, Dad. even though we never had those father-daughter sweet moments but I know deep inside you feel the same way maybe even more. and I'm very grateful for that even though you're not really good at showing your feelings. *giggles*. it's not that I don't love my Mom. I love her even more. But I always said it over and over again in front of her face, on my sms, on my birthday card to her whenever wherever so it became our routines. but my dad, he never knew my exact feeling cause I never said it. I know we have a weirdo relationship but I do enjoy talking politics with you Dad. you've taught me many things I didn't even know before. even though sometimes you can be soo nervewrecking but I don't mind. In fact, I actually do really want to help you to get through these very difficult times, but what can I do? I don't have ability except I always pray for you and mom everyday at my daily prayer. No matter what you did, what you said that might disappoint people around you, I still love you and I wish I could shout it out loud to your face someday.

kata temen gue,

gue sok2 nulis serius deh dibawah. biarin, kan belajar jadi jurnalis ceritanya. ehem ehem. hihi. tapi waktu nulis itu, temen gue ada yang ngomong,

"ah,kalo si Kartini (maaf ya bu kartini, temen2 saya emang mulutnya minta disumpel botol semuanya) nggak keturunan ningrat, gue yakin namanya nggak bakal seterkenal sekarang. yaelah, jaman dulu pasti banyak yang pengen bebas dari kekangan. berhubung si kartini tajir aja jadi namanya dia doang yang kedengeran!"

hahahaha. ya gitu deh. nggak dulu, nggak sekarang. pasti emang ujung2nya duit.

simsalabim!

selamat hari kartini, everyone!
currently watching : seputar Indonesia.

Bentuk emansipasi wanita di Indonesia menurut saya agak-agak salah kaprah. seperti berita yang sedang saya lihat. ada wanita yang jadi pemecah batu, tukang ojek, supir busway.I mean, come on! Menurut saya itu bukan emansipasi wanita, malah merupakan kemunduran bagi kodrat wanita. Sebelum saya dicap sok tahu, let's see definisi emansipasi wanita itu sendiri terlebih dahulu.

Kalau ditilik dari definisi, emansipasi adalah lepas dari ikatan dan tekanan, yang artinya bebas memilih dan menentukan jalan hidupnya. Menurut KBBI (Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia), emansipasi berarti persamaan hak dalam berbagai aspek kehidupan masyarakat seperti persamaan hak kaum wanita dan pria. Awalnya emansipasi wanita timbul karena adanya keterbatasan wanita dalam geraknya untuk mendapatkan pendidikan. Gerakan emansipasi wanita memang sangat berjasa besar dalam mengubah pola pikir yang ada dalam masyarakat. Saat ini peran wanita tidak hanya sebagai seorang istri yang hanya berkutat pada pekerjaan ataupun stigma yang berkembang pada masa lalu yaitu ”berdandan, memasak, dan melahirkan”. Wanita saat inipun sudah mampu bersaing di area publik. Sejajar dengan laki-laki (dalam hal pendidikan ataupun profesi). Dan banyak juga wanita yang mengungguli lelaki di ruang publik. Betapa sekarang wanita begitu hebat. tetapi, lama kelamaan wanita mulai dijadikan pekerja kasar dimana-mana. dan menurut saya itu bukan bentuk dari emansipasi.

memang, dengan mendapatkan kebebasan untuk menentukan nasib dan jalan hidupnya sendiri saat ini perempuan bebas memilih mau menjadi apa, termasuk menjadi pekerja kasar yang biasanya merupakan bidang yang ditekuni laki-laki. tapi menurut saya, itu semua terjadi bukan karena keinginan dan kehendak mereka. mereka memilih menjadi pekerja kasar karena himpitan ekonomi dan ketidakadaan pilihan untuk memiliki jenis pekerjaan lain karena untuk mendapatkan keahlian seperti menjahit atau melukis tentunya dibutuhkan biaya untuk belajar keterampilan tersebut. Apabila ingin membuka usaha juga dibutuhkan biaya yang tidak sedikit untuk dijadikan modal. meraih posisi prestisius di negeri kita tercinta ini juga seringkali membutuhkan tingkat pendidikan yang tinggi dan seringkali pula sangat diutamakan bagi mereka yang lulus dari universitas terkemuka di negara barat dan tentunya membutuhkan biaya yang sangat jauh dari sedikit. contoh konkrit lainnya adalah menjadi calon legislatif. berapa biaya yang dihabiskan untuk mendapatkan kursi di DPR atau DPRD? ratusan juta rupiah hingga tak terhingga. semakin habislah harapan bagi kaum dengan strata rendah untuk maju, terutama kaum wanita yang selain harus bekerja di luar juga masih harus mengurus keluarga di rumah. karena segala keterbatasan tersebutlah banyak wanita yang memilih menjadi tukang ojek, atau pemecah batu seperti yang saya lihat di tv.

sedangkan bentuk emansipasi sesungguhnya di Indonesia menurut saya sudah dapat dilihat di banyak tempat. seperti misalnya, Lisa Rumbeiwas yang menjadi atlet angkat besi andalan Indonesia, Ibu Meutia Hatta yang menjabat sebagai menteri pemberdayaan perempuan, atau bagi mereka yang protes, "ya jelas Ibu Meutia Hatta bisa jadi menteri. judul jabatannya saja Menteri Pemberdayaan Perempuan ya jelas yang menjabat perempuan juga!", kalau begitu, bagai mana dengan Ibu Erna Witoelar yang menjabat sebagai Menteri Pemukiman dan Pengembangan Wilayah pada tahun 1999 yang pada saat ini telah berganti nama menjadi Menteri Pekerjaan Umum sejajar dengan menteri-menteri pria yang saat ini menjabat, dan masih banyak contoh lainnya. menurut saya, itu yang disebut emansipasi perempuan. menyalurkan aspirasinya dan mensejajarkan diri dengan pria dalam posisi yang membanggakan. dalam posisi bahwa mereka memang memilih untuk menjadi pemimpin karena itulah yang mereka pilih dari sekian banyak pilihan yang tersedia. Bukan memilih karena terhimpit dorongan sesuatu hal, bukan memilih melakukan hal yang memang hanya itu pilihan yang ada.

Memang, dengan menjadi pemecah batu atau tukang ojek bukanlah suatu hal yang hina. mungkin hal itu juga patut dibanggakan karena tidak semua wanita mampu melakukannya. namun, alangkah lebih baiknya apabila kaum wanita yang ditakdirkan berperangai halus, dihargai dan dijunjung tinggi oleh pria untuk mendapatkan posisi yang sepantasnya dalam masyarakat. saya yakin, R.A Kartini berjuang mempertahankan hak wanita untuk mendapatkan pendidikan yang setinggi-tingginya bukan untuk mensejajarkan diri dengan pria dalam bentuk penjajahan hak profesi seperti yang saya sebutkan di atas. dan wanita yang berani unjuk gigi dalam segala bidang menurut saya justru harus lebih dihargai ketimbang pria. kenapa? karena, selain menjasi seorang menteri misalnya, atau seorang ahli ekonomi, begitu ia kembali ke rumah, ia harus segera berganti peran menjadi seorang Ibu yang memperhatikan bagaimana hari-hari anaknya, apakah urusan rumah tangga berjalan lancar, dan lain sebagainya. bertugas ganda. karena itu, menurut saya lagu Sophie Nevita itu ada benarnya juga,

siapa bilang jadi perempuan itu kerjaan yang mudah?
sehari kerja 25 jam ya ampun apotik aja kalah...
tapi aku bangga dan bahagia
menjadi perempuan seutuhnya..