I want it!

I gained back 5 kilos since last holiday. I used to be 50 when I was in high school but I didn't really care back then because i was still young and innocence. lol. no, i'm kidding. because i was not a body conscious kind a kid. but when I got to Bandung, i lose some kilos because i've started to be more conscious about my body simply because I want to look good, i want to wear good clothes and looks good on it. but lately I'm too lazy to work out and I gained back those fucking weight! I was sooo distressed with people's comments. everytime I wear something which flashing my arms i can assure you they will say such things like "you look fatter than before." "did you gain your body weight?"."You used to be so thin. now you look more curvy." curvy. yeah, curvy. BLAH. it's another word for fat right??

I think it's time for me to do a diet. I did acupuncture before it works out really well but it didn't last long. so, I decided to do a conventional diet. and do sport also. but I still need a booster. my birthday's coming on upcoming months. and I think I want a bikini! yeay. without trying to be "sok seksi banget sih lo?!" no no nooo I'm not that freak. If I get a bikini, I want to look at it everyday in the morningand thinking about, "come on! you can do it bas! you can get the shape that you want by working hard! and your hard work will be paid when you can go hang out at some beach, wears nothing but your bikini on, and showing it off to people while the girls got really jealous of your flat stomach." hahaha. ngarep. nggak gitu2 amat juga sih. yang penting gue mendapatkan tubuh yang bikin gue merasa nyaman dan pede which iiiissss to get to that ideal weight i have to lose 5 kilos!! OH CRAP!

my first choice, of course the red one:I think it's quite good. although maybe i have to use some spaghetti strap on it to keep my boobs from falling out. hahahaha. so maybe this one will work too.I also don't mind having some edgier bikini like this picture above. hahaha. SMOKING.. I wish I could ask for it to my parents but it seems quite impossible. so maybe I will try to buy it behind their back. hahaha.

oh crap I cant watch In Bruges. crap crap crap i have to find the dvd somewhere.