Wednesday, May 6, 2009

your life stops at 21.

I just opened my junior's blog and there are sooo many stories about never ending assignments and jobs at campus' events. ha! been there done that! ngurusin acara kampus sampe nginep di kampus gara2 backdrop PBB jatoh dan patah, ngedekor ruangan segede gaban cuma bertiga sampe badan gue biru2 dan batuk-batuk karena berhai-hari main cat, ngerjain ujian take home kajis sampe nggak tidur, jadi kordiv LO dan belingsatan pas hari H anak2nya ilang semua,hahahahahaha! mampus sekarang giliran lo semua! hahaha. pas gue ngeliat junior gue pada ngomel2 mengeluh2, well, don't. tau nggak sih lo how empty my life has become since the last semester?

The last semester itu gue uda beneran hampir gila deh tuh. ngerjain bab1 sambil bikin praktek diplomasi yang materinya bener2 baru, belom ngurusin kostum, ngurusin paper, informal meeting sama negara2 lain, anjing yang namanya tepar beneran tepar deh lo. pas semuanya selesai, leganyaaaa luar biasa. tp terus, hari2 gue sekarang bener2 nyampah. gabut total! kadang kalo gue ke kampus, temen2 gue udah tinggal dikiiitttt bgt yang the positive side is we became closer to each other. tapi things to do bener2 berkurang. apalagi kalo skripsi lagi macet gara2 susah data kaya gue kmrn2 dan sekarang. udah. bener2 nggak tau mau ngapain.

within months, I'll become 22 and I'll graduate from my universities and there's the true challenges waiting for me out there. within weeks, I'll face my last examination of this semester and I'll say goodbye to all of my friends for this 3 moths holiday and for those who graduate this July. somehow I feel sad. sekarang kalo gue bosen nyampah, bosen skripsi, gue tinggal ke kampus, banyak anak2 yang bisa gue ajak jalan, gue ajak main,terus kalo gue uda di jakarta, satu per satu mulai kerja, mau ketemu aja pasti susah, weekends waktu buat pacar atau keluarga. lo juga nggak bisa lagi bele2 kaya sekarang, santai2, cengar cengir, karena tantangan hidup yang lo hadapi lebih berat karena lo harus mulai berdiri di kaki lo sendiri setelah selama ini selalu bergantung sama orangtua. lo juga nggak bisa lagi tuh pacaran cuma iseng, main2, karena meskipun misalnya lo belum pengen married dalam waktu dekat nih, tetep aja orangtua atau keluarga lo bakal bawel nanya2 kapan married dan itu tekanan batin tersendiri juga lo. lo yang biasanya nggak bisa nabung, belanja melulu, juga harus mulai me-manage pengeluaran lo, disesuaikan sama gaji lo sendiri nanti, karena meskipun mungkin orangtua masih mau supply, pasti ada rasa nggak enaklah.

itu masih pikiran anak yang insya Allah lulus di umur 21 kaya gue. bagi mereka yang udah diatas 22 dan baru lulus pasti bebannya lebih berat lagi karena kan rasa nggak enaknya terus2an bergantung sama orangtua pasti lebih besar juga. terus kalo sekarang masih bebas punya impian macem2 pengen jadi ini pengen jadi itu, nanti, there are times when you have to cope with reality dimana lo mulai nggak bisa mencapai impian2 lo karena lo harus mempertimbangkan kemampuan lo, hukum aksi-reaksi, sebab-akibat dan faktor paling tai dari semua faktor yang ada. FAKTOR X!! menurut gue ini faktor paling tai karena faktor x nggak bisa dijelaskan dan nggak ada yang bisa lo lakukan buat merubahnya. and then you will find a hard times finding a good friend karena pertemanan di dunia kerja itu pasti diwarnai persaingan buat meraih suatu posisi tertentu. jadi yaaa paling lo temenenan ya segitu2 aja endingnya lo pasti bakal lebih milih temen jaman sma atau kuliah yang lebih real.

enjoy your life while you still can since it stops at 21.

Monday, May 4, 2009

TO MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE - ADELE

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace

To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love


Gue lagi males search link-nya deh. cari sendiri ya. haha. nggak mood.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Less is definitely more..

For me, if you dress the simplest way, the more you'll look good. just put some edgy touch and voila! you'll be very smoking! I've tried some mix and match and sometimes it looks good but I never had the guts to wear it to public places since I haven't got that much of a confidence. but mostly its because those 'ribet' stiles that you've found in magazine's fashion spreads are not me. for me, everyday is jeans and t-shirt with some sexy touch. actually, I never tried to look sexy. but the hotter the weather, I choose my shirts to be thinner. and sometimes people complained me esp my mother haha. and did I ever mentioned that I had these short pair of legs. yeah, i'm only 153 cm. so, I prefer my skirts and pants to be very short in order to look higher. right now I really want to look more like these:



That university of nowhere thing is really cool and i'd like to have one of those. while on my daily dose I want to look more like these:
I tried a pair of ankle boots the other day and unfortunately it makes me looks like dwafrs or midgets so I guess I have to stick to pump shoes or stilettos. just don't touch the boots!!I'm dying to have this ripped shirt. since I have underwears collection so everyone can see my cutie underwears! haha!


all pictures courtesy of www.fashiontoast.com
and how I wish I could have a smaller boobs so that I could wear something without my bra on. haha.

The thing is, I have all the things I need to look like this. see through tank tops, hotpants, mini skirts, leggings, black bras and everything except the boots of course but in Indonesia there's no waaayyy you could go out to places looking like these otherwise people will gues you are a PSK. hahaha. cheers!

Monday, April 27, 2009

hahahaha.

Kalo ada orang nanya ke gue, "mau kemana lo bas?"
selama ini gue sering bgt asal jawab. seringnya sih gue jawab "mau fashion show di Milan."
dan biasanya orang yang nanya langsung mati kutu dan cuma nyaut, "tai lo." gitu doang. belakangan ini, gue yang dibikin mati kutu sama Samson orang yang otaknya paling miring dan hal kreatifitas sahut menyahut.

kemaren dia nanya gitu ke gue, "mau kemana lo bas?"
"mau fashion show di Milan."
di luar dugaan dia menjawab."oohhh.. maksud lo Kafe Milan di Buah Batu?"
"..........."
HUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA. sumpah ya samson lo anjing bgt deh. it turns out tempat bernama kafe milan ini juga emang beneran ada di buah batu dan yang gue heran, kok samson tau aja dan kepikiran aja nyautin itu?? hahahahaha. tai.

I admit,

for the very first time in my life, I keep secret just to myself. and it's hard not sharing it with people. especially in times like these.

Kenapa deh gue milih HI ya??

Gue masih inget alasan salah kaprah gue kenapa waktu SMA HI jadi pilihan utama gue.Ok, before i tell you this, I'll explain why. it's inspired by one of my juniors in campus. she kept thinking that she's taking the wrong major which reminds me of myself a couple of years ago. I used to think, we will all learn about cultures of countries in the world, and study different languages. well, it turns out I do learn about cultures and languages but it's just a small part of it. but actually International Relation is all about politics. who gets what and how to get them. use everyways possible. don't bother to be evil, just do everything you can in order to fulfill your interest. we learn about it in a country form. and you have to sharpened your anlysis skill if you want to hang on in this major. I admit it was hard, very hard. even until now, I am not good at analysing thing. no matter how hard i tried, all I get is B never A. anyway, in my campus there's no A- or A+ grade, you just get A, B up till E if you failed the subject.

Awalnya, gue selalu mikir 'anjing anjing sumpah gue salah jurusan banget nih'. mana di kampus gue temenan sama cowok2 yang pinter2nya belingsatan kaya tai gitu. temen2 cw gue sih kebanyakan yang kaya gue gt juga, yaa standar2 aja pengetahuannya. gue bahkan dulu kan nggak pernah baca koran, nggak pernah nonton berita. sementara temen2 cowo gue ini yang kritis2 parah gitu, dari SMA kerjaannya baca koran, nonton berita dll dll. ketinggalan jauh deh gue. dan bukannya terdesak untuk maju, gue malah jadi makin males belajar karena ngerasa ketinggalan. dan balik lagi, I'm not good at analysing things, sementara kalo ujian soalnya selalu analisis2 gitu. and no matter how hard I try, nilai gue jaraang bgt yang 8. selalu 7 koma 7 koma gitu. nyebelin bgt.

But along the way, I learned to cope with all of that shits in this major. dan lama2 gue mulai menemukan tempat dimana gue merasa nyaman di jurusan ini dan kuncinya emang cuma satu, NIAT! yang gue sesali, niat gue ini baru muncul belakangan. seinget gue sih semester hmm.. 5 atau 6 gitu deh. telat emang. but it's better late than never. I remember taking this particular subject called International Relations focusing in the Middle East Area. bahasa Indonesianya Hubungan Internasional Kawasan Timur Tengah dan disingkat jadi HITT di fakultas gue. dan waktu itu gue jadi satu dari segelintir orang yang nekad ngambil mata kuliah ini karena terkenal susah dan njelimet soalnya timur tengah kan daerah sarat konflik dan kerjaannya emang perang melulu. tapi disini baru nemuin passion gue. sumpah HITT itu mata kuliah favorit gue so far. belajar tentang perang Iran-Irak,US-Iran, US-Irak, Israel-Palestina daan sumpaaahhh yaaaa itu seruuuuu bgt bgt bgt. dan disinilah gue baru mulai terdorong untuk belajar. gue mulai pinjem buku-buku tentang US dan timur tengah ke temen2 gue esp Ben, tiap malem kalo YM mulai bawel ngajak Rean ngobrol soal isu2 timur tengah yang gue ketinggalan dan gue mulai rajin baca Arab News secara online buat update issues. di kelas gue selalu rajin nyatet, nggak pernah ngobrol sama sekali dan di kelas lain gue mulai berani aktif. tunjuk tangan dan berpendapat. yang paling gue seneng sih waktu gue berani berpendapat di kelas Kajis (kajian strategis). fyi, kajis ini dosennya emang killer, suka asal tunjuk dan kalo lo nggak bisa jawab suka agak di-underestimate gitu sama dia. tadinya, kalo ditunjuk gue deg2an saking deg2annya nggak bisa jawab terus sering males masuk kelas dia karena males ditunjuk2 lama2 gue jadi sering angkat tangan gitu jawab2 segala macem dan akhirnya si dosennya yang tadinya selalu ngaggep gue angin lalu pun jadi hafal sama muka gue dan sering senyum kalo ketemu gue. dan di semester ini nilai gue juga mulai bagus2. disaat nilai2 diplomasi anak2 jelek dan sedeng gue berhasil dapet 8 sekian, HITT gue dapet A dengan gemilang dan kajis gue juga dapet 8 sekian gitu setelah tadinya cuma 7 sekian 7 sekian. dan akhirnya memutuskan untuk ngambil peran UNHCR dalam pasca perang US-Irak sebagai skripsi. dan kebanggaan tersendiri buat gue waktu temen gue ada yang komen "oh, ternyata lo hi-pol juga ya? gue kira nggak...". well, fyi, hi-pol means high politics which cover higher issue of politics like war, security, arms supply etc while low-pol covers environment issues, poverty issues, etc. meskipun skripsi gue cetek bgt dibandingin those ultra smart people, tapi buat orang kaya gue, words like that are really mean something.

mungkin buat orang2 ultrasmart kaya gitu tuh nggak ada artinya. tapi buat gue yang tadinya nothing banget, itu berarti bgt lho. rasanya seneng bgt pas akhirnya pengetahuan politik lokal gue udah bisa nyusul Rean dan gue nyambung bgt pas diskusi soal politik lokal sama dia, dan gue seneng bgt kalo ada temen2 gue yang nanya ke gue soal Timur Tengah karena many of them were taking Asian Pacific major dan cuma gue yang ngambil timur tengah dan gue bisa menjawab dengan benar. itu pencapaian tersendiri buat gue dan gue bangga meskipun gue tetap menyesali kenapa datengnya telat banget dan kenapa gue tetep nggak jago menganalisis meskipun gue udah bisa selangkah lebih kritis dibandingin dulu waktu baru2 disini.

dan yaaa buat yang lagi merasa didn't belong to this major, well, every major has their own challenges. no one could guarantee you will get a better grade if you change your major. masalahnya bukan terletak di apa yang bisa atau nggak lo pelajari di sini, tapi gimana caranya lo ngalahin semua hambatan yang ada supaya bisa semakin 'masuk' ke mata kuliah atau apapun yang sedang lo jalani. anf if you're able to beat that challenges up than you're successful in your own way even though your not getting any trophy or praise by other people.

tadinya juga gue mikir, 'ah bullshit bgt gue bs survive disini.'. nyatanya, lama2 emang gue bisa kok. itu cuma masalah waktu aja sampe lo nemuin passion lo di jurusan ini. so, chin up peeps!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Said sadly,

Udah denger lagunya belom? yang nyanyiin James Iha feat. Nina Gordon. KEREN BANGET SUMPAH SUMPAH.


You should know that I love you
We should love like lovers do
And I can't help but fall for you
oh honey I'm just a fool
now you know

Darling I'll never be true
You see, for so long I was blue
I'm not the lonely one
and if I hurt, then you would too
oh honey i always lose
now you know

Lover, when will you?
So afraid that no one cares
Lover, can't find you
I swear to God don't leave me here
now you know

Only you know that it can't be
When no one else here really means
Anything to me
If you heard inside
If you could fly to me again
Since you ran away
Hold me now, Tell me how
Nothing's lost

Lover, when will you?
I'm so afraid that no one cares
Lover, can't find you
and no one knows what brings us here
Lover
Hold me now, Hold me now
Tell me how
Nothing's lost


very touching lyrics dont you think? Daaaan nyari link free mp3nya SUSAH BANGET. tapi untung akhirnya gue dapet. yeay!



Wednesday, April 22, 2009

My hair...

Since I have no gebetan whatsoever I don't really put attention to the way I look right now. maybe some of you remember, one day, I was taking the quiz "5 things you won't leave your home without" or some kind like that ,I'm sorry I forget the exact title of that quiz, but I remember the things I put in there. I won't go without my matching underwear (I'm serious, I have to wear the matching one otherwise I'll be very insecure), my red phones, umbrella, beauty case and STRAIGHT HAIR. seriously. I don't care if I have to wake up so early in the morning just to straightening it up. not always all part of it, sometimes just the bang part.

But lately,I'm too lazy to do that, not in the mood to do that and simply don't want to do that because I feel tired and I think at this time I don't need to impress anyone. It's been 3 days I'm going to campus with my curly hair. and it's not the good kind of curl. Don't imagine it like the nayla alatas' curl with the big swirl here and there. no, not that kind. mine is waaaayyyy horrible. so, yeah, since I already lost my interest toward that boy, I feel like I don't need to make my hair straight anymore. and I look really really disappointing. *giggles*. couple of days ago I went to Inul Vizta and the worker there taken our picture to put it in the front reception and when I saw the picture and it was terrible terrible TERRIBLE! Lol. but I find it funny though. I'm happy with the way I am right now, with the way I look.this is the first time ever I feel ok with my hair. I don't know what makes me. but actually I feel quite happy to ever feel so cuek like this. well, I don't mind people commenting on my nightmare hair, it's their right. and I'm agree that my hair is disaster. and I'm ok with that.

Kadang-kadang gue suka ngebayangin lho, gimana ya kalo gue menjadi wanita dewasa di era 80-an gitu?? I bet my ass artis2 yang main di masa kejayaan warkop DKI pasti sirik beraaattt sama rambut gue. Eva Arnaz, Yati oktavia, pasti pada sirik sama rambut gue yang keriting2 nggak jelas dan poni gue yang selalu melingkar2 kaya keong. di saat mereka harus capek2 ke salon, gue santai2 aja rambut gue udah keriting norak alami gitu kan. hahaha. dan kalo gue sempet ketemu mereka pada waktu itu, mereka pasti komentar gitu ke gue,

"Aduh, rambut kamu oke banget cing! (kan ceritanya 80-an jadi ngomongnya harus gitu). aku tiap hari capek lho harus ke salon ngeriting rambut aku. coba rambut aku kaya kamu ya.." kata eva arnaz dan yati oktavia sambil menatap kagum ke rambut gue sementara gue tersenyum2 jumawa. HAHAHAAHAHAHA. sampah lo bas.

I just want you to know,that...

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, DAD.

hahaha. I don't know what makes me really want to say this to you. we don't even have a problem and I hope there won't be any problems since we already got plenty back then. and i know I have never said that 5 magic words to you for my entire life and maybe I won't say it straight to your face until I don't even know when, but, just in case you're wandering, yes,
I do love you so much, Dad. even though we never had those father-daughter sweet moments but I know deep inside you feel the same way maybe even more. and I'm very grateful for that even though you're not really good at showing your feelings. *giggles*. it's not that I don't love my Mom. I love her even more. But I always said it over and over again in front of her face, on my sms, on my birthday card to her whenever wherever so it became our routines. but my dad, he never knew my exact feeling cause I never said it. I know we have a weirdo relationship but I do enjoy talking politics with you Dad. you've taught me many things I didn't even know before. even though sometimes you can be soo nervewrecking but I don't mind. In fact, I actually do really want to help you to get through these very difficult times, but what can I do? I don't have ability except I always pray for you and mom everyday at my daily prayer. No matter what you did, what you said that might disappoint people around you, I still love you and I wish I could shout it out loud to your face someday.

kata temen gue,

gue sok2 nulis serius deh dibawah. biarin, kan belajar jadi jurnalis ceritanya. ehem ehem. hihi. tapi waktu nulis itu, temen gue ada yang ngomong,

"ah,kalo si Kartini (maaf ya bu kartini, temen2 saya emang mulutnya minta disumpel botol semuanya) nggak keturunan ningrat, gue yakin namanya nggak bakal seterkenal sekarang. yaelah, jaman dulu pasti banyak yang pengen bebas dari kekangan. berhubung si kartini tajir aja jadi namanya dia doang yang kedengeran!"

hahahaha. ya gitu deh. nggak dulu, nggak sekarang. pasti emang ujung2nya duit.

simsalabim!

selamat hari kartini, everyone!
currently watching : seputar Indonesia.

Bentuk emansipasi wanita di Indonesia menurut saya agak-agak salah kaprah. seperti berita yang sedang saya lihat. ada wanita yang jadi pemecah batu, tukang ojek, supir busway.I mean, come on! Menurut saya itu bukan emansipasi wanita, malah merupakan kemunduran bagi kodrat wanita. Sebelum saya dicap sok tahu, let's see definisi emansipasi wanita itu sendiri terlebih dahulu.

Kalau ditilik dari definisi, emansipasi adalah lepas dari ikatan dan tekanan, yang artinya bebas memilih dan menentukan jalan hidupnya. Menurut KBBI (Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia), emansipasi berarti persamaan hak dalam berbagai aspek kehidupan masyarakat seperti persamaan hak kaum wanita dan pria. Awalnya emansipasi wanita timbul karena adanya keterbatasan wanita dalam geraknya untuk mendapatkan pendidikan. Gerakan emansipasi wanita memang sangat berjasa besar dalam mengubah pola pikir yang ada dalam masyarakat. Saat ini peran wanita tidak hanya sebagai seorang istri yang hanya berkutat pada pekerjaan ataupun stigma yang berkembang pada masa lalu yaitu ”berdandan, memasak, dan melahirkan”. Wanita saat inipun sudah mampu bersaing di area publik. Sejajar dengan laki-laki (dalam hal pendidikan ataupun profesi). Dan banyak juga wanita yang mengungguli lelaki di ruang publik. Betapa sekarang wanita begitu hebat. tetapi, lama kelamaan wanita mulai dijadikan pekerja kasar dimana-mana. dan menurut saya itu bukan bentuk dari emansipasi.

memang, dengan mendapatkan kebebasan untuk menentukan nasib dan jalan hidupnya sendiri saat ini perempuan bebas memilih mau menjadi apa, termasuk menjadi pekerja kasar yang biasanya merupakan bidang yang ditekuni laki-laki. tapi menurut saya, itu semua terjadi bukan karena keinginan dan kehendak mereka. mereka memilih menjadi pekerja kasar karena himpitan ekonomi dan ketidakadaan pilihan untuk memiliki jenis pekerjaan lain karena untuk mendapatkan keahlian seperti menjahit atau melukis tentunya dibutuhkan biaya untuk belajar keterampilan tersebut. Apabila ingin membuka usaha juga dibutuhkan biaya yang tidak sedikit untuk dijadikan modal. meraih posisi prestisius di negeri kita tercinta ini juga seringkali membutuhkan tingkat pendidikan yang tinggi dan seringkali pula sangat diutamakan bagi mereka yang lulus dari universitas terkemuka di negara barat dan tentunya membutuhkan biaya yang sangat jauh dari sedikit. contoh konkrit lainnya adalah menjadi calon legislatif. berapa biaya yang dihabiskan untuk mendapatkan kursi di DPR atau DPRD? ratusan juta rupiah hingga tak terhingga. semakin habislah harapan bagi kaum dengan strata rendah untuk maju, terutama kaum wanita yang selain harus bekerja di luar juga masih harus mengurus keluarga di rumah. karena segala keterbatasan tersebutlah banyak wanita yang memilih menjadi tukang ojek, atau pemecah batu seperti yang saya lihat di tv.

sedangkan bentuk emansipasi sesungguhnya di Indonesia menurut saya sudah dapat dilihat di banyak tempat. seperti misalnya, Lisa Rumbeiwas yang menjadi atlet angkat besi andalan Indonesia, Ibu Meutia Hatta yang menjabat sebagai menteri pemberdayaan perempuan, atau bagi mereka yang protes, "ya jelas Ibu Meutia Hatta bisa jadi menteri. judul jabatannya saja Menteri Pemberdayaan Perempuan ya jelas yang menjabat perempuan juga!", kalau begitu, bagai mana dengan Ibu Erna Witoelar yang menjabat sebagai Menteri Pemukiman dan Pengembangan Wilayah pada tahun 1999 yang pada saat ini telah berganti nama menjadi Menteri Pekerjaan Umum sejajar dengan menteri-menteri pria yang saat ini menjabat, dan masih banyak contoh lainnya. menurut saya, itu yang disebut emansipasi perempuan. menyalurkan aspirasinya dan mensejajarkan diri dengan pria dalam posisi yang membanggakan. dalam posisi bahwa mereka memang memilih untuk menjadi pemimpin karena itulah yang mereka pilih dari sekian banyak pilihan yang tersedia. Bukan memilih karena terhimpit dorongan sesuatu hal, bukan memilih melakukan hal yang memang hanya itu pilihan yang ada.

Memang, dengan menjadi pemecah batu atau tukang ojek bukanlah suatu hal yang hina. mungkin hal itu juga patut dibanggakan karena tidak semua wanita mampu melakukannya. namun, alangkah lebih baiknya apabila kaum wanita yang ditakdirkan berperangai halus, dihargai dan dijunjung tinggi oleh pria untuk mendapatkan posisi yang sepantasnya dalam masyarakat. saya yakin, R.A Kartini berjuang mempertahankan hak wanita untuk mendapatkan pendidikan yang setinggi-tingginya bukan untuk mensejajarkan diri dengan pria dalam bentuk penjajahan hak profesi seperti yang saya sebutkan di atas. dan wanita yang berani unjuk gigi dalam segala bidang menurut saya justru harus lebih dihargai ketimbang pria. kenapa? karena, selain menjasi seorang menteri misalnya, atau seorang ahli ekonomi, begitu ia kembali ke rumah, ia harus segera berganti peran menjadi seorang Ibu yang memperhatikan bagaimana hari-hari anaknya, apakah urusan rumah tangga berjalan lancar, dan lain sebagainya. bertugas ganda. karena itu, menurut saya lagu Sophie Nevita itu ada benarnya juga,

siapa bilang jadi perempuan itu kerjaan yang mudah?
sehari kerja 25 jam ya ampun apotik aja kalah...
tapi aku bangga dan bahagia
menjadi perempuan seutuhnya..

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

aaaahh lagu iniii...

It's been a very long time since the last time I heard this song Club 8 - Jesus walks With Me with no religious issues intended. haha. suddenly, I miss those moments. no,I still can't laughing at it but it doesn't meant that I still care about the boy. BLAH. you fucking twat. Little bastard. et cetera. hahaha. But I miss the moment. do you get me here? I mean,the moment where you feel like you're so connected with someone. you can talk about anything you want, listen to him carefully and having a deep discussion about everything, every little thing which come to your mind, talking trash about someone and share your deepest secret. isn't it lovely? this song kinda remind me of those times and thank god I don't miss him. at all.

some random facts.

my birthday's coming and I want to make a wish list! even though i'm not going to have it all or maybe i'll get none but i's fun! so, here are the things I really want.

1. BIKINI! I've said it before. I really do want one. but I think i'm not gonna get it. since it's impossible to ask my parent for it, and my ex boyfriend won't buy it for me. blah. i'll get it someday.
2. Statement shoes. I think it's time for me to leave all those flats and flip-flops behind. i'm a woman right now.
3. New Boyfried. someone that understands me and not taking me for granted. enough experiences on that field thank you.
4. Graduation! for this one, it depends on me I guess. so I guess i have to really work my ass off from now on.
5. Red Hermes Birkin Bag. pronto!
6. Wealth. it's not that I don't care about life, health or anything but I think wealthiness is the key to all of that. Don't be too naive. with a lot of money, you'll get a better life in all aspects.
7. Birthday Party. I think it's been a VERY VERY long time since my last birthday party. I don't even remember when was the last time I had it?
8. Smaller laptop maybe. it's soooooo much of a burden for petite girl like me to carry around 14 inch laptop on my shoulder. I feel the pain on my shoulder and my back. enough said!
9. extreme makeover. I'm bored with my style. I think I need a more mature, edgier, and more glamorous style. goodluck with that.
10. ticket to Milan, Italy. I don't mind to go there alone.
Amen.

sorry, today I'm too lazy to change my font style and to upload a picture even though maybe I could've made my list more interesting with pictures on it. sorry readers! (yaelah, berasa banyak yang baca).

Monday, April 20, 2009

kenapa nyesel tuh selalu datang belakangan?

Gue ngeliat sekeliling gue sekarang jadi stress sendiri tau nggak lo. iya kenapa ya nyesel tuh selalu dateng belakangan, dan pas nyadar udah telat buat ngerubah semuanya. lagi banyak, BANYAK banget hal yang gue sesali sekarang. dari mulai skripsi gue, kenapa gue nekad milih pembimbing iblis kaya gitu *sorry mas, tapi kan emang bener saya lulusnya jadi lama!* tapi kalo ini gue masih bisa yaudahlahyaaa.. masalahnya si dosen nyentrik ini emang bener sih. kalo someday gue dapet kesempatan buat S2 (AMIN YA ALLAH AMIN),nggak mungkin gue bisa menerapkan metode nulis skripsi gue ke tesis S2. dan semua yang dia omongin sebenernya juga bener. tetep aja, skripsi gue nggak diapprove2 sementara time is ticking out dan dia malah pergi ke jerman dan ke finland 3 bulan!!! mau jadi apa masssss skripsi gueeee??? dan untung juga gue masih inisiatif maju sendiri ngerjain bab2, kalo nggak, udahlah matek bener2 matek gue. mau kapan selesainya? dan gue nyesel kenapa gundah gulana (tai bahasa gue) yang kemaren2 itu gue rasa2in banget sampe bikin gue males ngerjain skripsi. haaaa sedih gue. dan kenapa gue sempet nyampah laaammmaaaaa bgt. aaahhh sumpah sedih gue sedih. ntar temen2 gue pada pake kebaya kembaran gitu deh, kecuali gue. haaaaa kebayang nggak sih perasaan gue gimana? mana ternyata topik gue jadi njelimet gini. orang UNHCR nggak ada kabar, kedutaan Iraq nggak nerima konsultasi mahasiswa. sumpah gue pusing. gue stress bgt sebenernya. dan kali ini stressnya udah nggak bisa diobati dengan shopping atau makan lagi. parah pokoknya. rambut gue sampe pada rontok. biasanya emang uda rontok, tp makin parah. dan gue yakin itu ada hubungannya sama stress ini.

penyesalan gue yang lain, hmmm...too private buat diceritain. cuma wita yang tau. tapi seperti yang gue bilang wit, all in all, looking back sebenernya banyak yang bisa gue lakuin buat ngerubah itu semua. sayangnya gue nggak mudeng waktu itu. nggak ngeh. nggak sabar. atau karena kena penyakit yang menyerang seluruh anak muda dimana2 yaitu penyakit MALES. sumpah sebenernya alot of things I could've done tp nggak gue lakuin dari dulu2 dan pas gue nyadar kaya sekarang udah TELAT. TELAT BANGET.


Sunday, April 19, 2009

I want it!

I gained back 5 kilos since last holiday. I used to be 50 when I was in high school but I didn't really care back then because i was still young and innocence. lol. no, i'm kidding. because i was not a body conscious kind a kid. but when I got to Bandung, i lose some kilos because i've started to be more conscious about my body simply because I want to look good, i want to wear good clothes and looks good on it. but lately I'm too lazy to work out and I gained back those fucking weight! I was sooo distressed with people's comments. everytime I wear something which flashing my arms i can assure you they will say such things like "you look fatter than before." "did you gain your body weight?"."You used to be so thin. now you look more curvy." curvy. yeah, curvy. BLAH. it's another word for fat right??

I think it's time for me to do a diet. I did acupuncture before it works out really well but it didn't last long. so, I decided to do a conventional diet. and do sport also. but I still need a booster. my birthday's coming on upcoming months. and I think I want a bikini! yeay. without trying to be "sok seksi banget sih lo?!" no no nooo I'm not that freak. If I get a bikini, I want to look at it everyday in the morningand thinking about, "come on! you can do it bas! you can get the shape that you want by working hard! and your hard work will be paid when you can go hang out at some beach, wears nothing but your bikini on, and showing it off to people while the girls got really jealous of your flat stomach." hahaha. ngarep. nggak gitu2 amat juga sih. yang penting gue mendapatkan tubuh yang bikin gue merasa nyaman dan pede which iiiissss to get to that ideal weight i have to lose 5 kilos!! OH CRAP!

my first choice, of course the red one:
I think it's quite good. although maybe i have to use some spaghetti strap on it to keep my boobs from falling out. hahahaha. so maybe this one will work too.I also don't mind having some edgier bikini like this picture above. hahaha. SMOKING.. I wish I could ask for it to my parents but it seems quite impossible. so maybe I will try to buy it behind their back. hahaha.

oh crap I cant watch In Bruges. crap crap crap i have to find the dvd somewhere.

do I look like those agjs?

Urged by spontanity, I tried different style of bang today. I didn't look so bad, did I? hehe. but it makes me look alike with those agjs. I took some pictures of it though.
And here are with some of my friends today after a long journey to swimming pool, BEC and pizza hut.
while this is my usual side sweppt-bang:
Not bad right? haha maksa. well some random fact, i try to catch up with my old gebetan. we knew each other when we were in Junior high and we were friend back then. then we lost each other but I don't know why we oftenly and accidentaly meet in unpredictable places over and over and it turns out his friends are my friend too. so we meet again in facebook and it's quite interesting for me since my life has been sooooo booorrrriiinggg lately. I don't intend to chase him or somthing but its always interesting to know someone new in mylife whether its boy or girl, purely friend, friend with benefit or maybe we could be more than just a friend! HAHA.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

samson tai banget, sumpah,

percakapan gue dan samson di ym, agak lokal sih, tapi menurut gue ini lucu,

B (babas): yaudah. semoga sukses ya..gue doain semoga lo....ditolak. HAHAHA.
S (samson): ih, maneh parah V-SUN anying!
B: HUAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA. anjing katro banget lo. v-sun lagi (baca: pisan).
S: hahaha. iya nyet gue kemaren baca di wall temen gue ada yang nulis pisan jadi V-sun. WAJIB TIRU!!
B: Tai lo sumpah tai gue ngakak kan jadinya.
S: ada yang lebih tai lagi. ada temen gue nulis maneh parah pzn anying! pzn=pizan
B: ah anjing lo sumpah tai abis!! *gue udah ketawa ngakak nggak berenti2*
S: Makanya lo gaul doong ama anak2 lokal biar ketauan aslinya. barudak sini mah udah nggak ketolong lagi katronya. katro abis nyeeet.
B: Tai lo, gaul cuma buat dikata2in gitu??
S: HAHAHAHA
B: HAHAHAHA.

nggak penting abis nyet. and it's happen at 2 in the morning. hahahaha.

ahhh gue sakit lagi deh..

as snob as it may sounds,gue emang nggak bisa kena panas menyengat gitu otherwise either gue pingsan atau pusing deh nih kaya sekarang. Td gue ke xtrans panas2 balik2 sumpah kepala gue kaya ketiban batu. It has something to do with my blood pressures that are too low when ironically i'm a high temper kinda girl. Haha. kalo gue mengeluhkan ini ke temen2 gue, pasti semua ngomel ke gue karena gue nggak doyan sayur. emang iya sih sayur itu teramat sangat penting, tapi gue nggak suka rasanyaa...gimana dooong dong dong? tapi sebenernya nyesel juga gue nggak doyan sayur, karena gue jadi gampang banget sakit. pencernaan gue suka nggak lancar, gue yang selalu dapet batuk tahunan di antara temen2 gue, gue gampang banget pingsan karena panas matahari dan keramaian. gue sering banget mau pingsan kalo upacara bendera waktu sma dan di carrefour kalo lagi kelewat rame. hahaha. lemah abis sumpah!

Karena nggak doyan sayur, gue juga jadi kekurangan zat besi yang menyebabkan tekanan darah gue rendah makanya gue sering pingsan kalo l
agi menstruasi, karena darah yang keluar itu nggak diimbangi dengan gizi yang masuk. yang lebih parah lagi, waktu liburan kemaren gue sakit kekurangan gizi. iihhhh norak banget kaya anak kampung... berhari2 gue nggak bisa bangun. kalo bangun kepalanya pusing. setelah gue ke dokter ternyata gue kurang makan sayur, kurang protein dan zat besi. iihhh hahahaha norak. untung kurang gizinya nggak lama2 karena mama langsung beliin gue berbagai macam makanan enak kecuali, tetep, sayur. gue afal banget betapa sebelnya temen2 gue akan kebiasaan buruk gue ini. 3 orang teratas yang paling protes soal ini:
they're cute as a picture!! But i wouldn't want to eat it even though you pay me a million bucks! hahaha.Wajah sukma lagi ngomel "BABAS!!! makan nggak sayur lo ANJING!!!". diiringi dengan gue yang dengan takut2 memakan sayur di mangkok indomie gembul gue atau makan selada di ayam penyet gue sambil menyingkirkan sayur2 lainnya.
Muka Vira kurang lebih gini deh kalo lagi ngomelin gue, "Heh BOCAH! makan aaahhh sayurnya! elo tuh selalu deh nggak pernah makan sayur!" yang dilanjutkan dengan adegan gue nyengir, dan tetap mbandel nggak makan sayurnya.Kalo ashley, gue hafal banget setiap makan dan piring gue tersisa ijo2 gitu dia pasti langsung pasang wajah cemberut persis foto di atas terus ngomel deh, "Basitha tuh selalu deh.. kalo makan nyisa. kan sayang.. Bas, elo tuh ya blablablabla..." hahaha. dan saking udah lamanya temenan omelan dia hanya gue anggap angin lalu.

yak itulah dia top 3 protester soal kebiasaan gue nggak doyan sayur. hahaha. but I love you all somehow! hahaha.



Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I have a massage, very important massage,

Dedicated to all the girls and women and half women (ups) in the world. Never, NEVER date a guy who's only looking forward to get down to your pants. It will do you any good. no matter how nice, handsome, charming, rich, smart, white, black, no matter what. just, Never. seriously, never.

tuh kaaaan....

Selalu deeehh kalo bareng Rengga gue jadi makan melulu! damn you rengga! hr ini diet gue gagal! hahahaha.