It's July 2010 and people are getting married.
Hmm... Why would people getting married anyway?
Don't answer my question with things like 'I want to get married so we can legally having sex everyday,' ehmm... that's not my point. Marriages is not always about the sex, right? Well, somewhere in my blog i think I've mentioned that I have this strange obsession about marriage but then I know I only love the idea of a wedding party but not the wedding part. I mean, what's the fun part of marriage? You're gonna spend the rest of your life with a person you don't even know you'll love or will love you back till the end of his/her life.
Being married is like trapped in an institution and you have to commit to it for the rest of your life, whether you like it or not. Being married along with his/her whole families, whether you like it or not. Being bought to be someone else's property or even worst, toy, for the rest of your life. And when you or your partner get bored, there will be lots of cursing inside the house. And when dishonesty came, which I guess happens to most relationship, you cannot divorce him/her because you think "I already love his/her families like my own... they're so nice to me and I just can't let go." err... ok. or, "We got kids to think about!" or worse, "I've been with him/her everyday and I just can't imagine myself being alone without him/her." ermmm... It's against my feminist belief, by the way. All in all, oh my god.... marriage is just.... scary.
Well, i wrote a plan below but I think marriage does not included in it.
I mean, what's the fun part of marriage?
Is it still gonna be fun when you're together for... let's say... 20 years? Ok, if that's too much, how about 5 years? Because what I heard from 'ibu2 tetangga', the 5th year is the hardest period in a married life.
Well, that's just me anyway :D for the couples who'd love to get married soon, esp, Mbak Dita, i wish you lots of love in your marriage later so than nothing would bother your relationship within the marriage institution. Beside, I'm gonna kill my brother if he doesn't marry you because it means he ruins our bookstores plan! So, don't you guys dare to cancel your plan to be a husband and a wife. HAHAHA. Maksa dikit nggak apa-apa ya?
Oh, and earth to vira.. earth to vira... kalo lo baca ini gue ga tau komen khas yang bakal keluar adalah "aduh, nyet, kok gue sedih ya lo mikir gitu?" atau malah, "Iya nyet!! gue setuju sama lo!!" hahahaha.
well, i believe it would be fun, wac.
ReplyDeleteit would be fun if you get married with a right person. your lover and best friend indeed.
ada banyak contoh pernikahan yang gagal. tapi gak sedikit juga contoh pernikahan yang bener seru dan itu rasanya akan jauh lebih baik daripada lo tinggal sendiri dan tidak menikah atau malah menikah dengan orang yang salah.
gue pernah cerita tentang analogi bapak gue tentang 3x bismillah kan?
keluar rumah 1x baca bismillah
menyebrangi lautan 2x baca bismillah
menikah 3x baca bismillah
which means, resiko yang akan lo hadepin ketika lo menikah nanti akan lebih heboh daripada sekedar kapal karam atau mati dimakan hiu.
funny here, wac. tapi gara-gara analogi ayah, gue jadi terus mikir. kalo gitu buat apa kita justru terjun bebas ke lembaga pernikahan yang resikonya malah lebih besar daripada dimakan hiu.
kalo gitu apa gak mending kita cari aman aja, ya? menempuh resiko yang lebih kecil dengan hidup sendiri. haha hihi sama teman-teman.
pegimane doong??
ahahahaha kan at the end you still feel confused about it. Apa mungkin karena kita itu terlalu takut ya vir? Gue kadang mikir gue itu (dan kayanya elo juga mengingat elo dan gue terkadang sebelas dua belas aja kan) terlalu takut menjalani resiko-resiko dan kenyataan buruk (seperti kehilangan) yang membuat gue (dan mungkin juga elo) jadi bitter dan defensif demi diri sendiri. Itu jugalah kayanya yang membuat pemikiran buruk tentang lembaga pernikahan itu muncul di otak gue.
ReplyDeleteTerus, menurut gue, kok mending hidup sendiri ya daripada lo menikah sama orang yang salah. tapi ketika you're in a relationship, semua keliatannya kaya you and me against the world, apalagi kalo baru2 (ehem ehem) and everything. Terus gimana coba caranya lo tau he's the right person or not? Indikasinya apa? Karena kadang janji2 yang udah dibuat bersama semudah itu terlupakan ketika seseorang merasa bosan atau muak. Dan terjebak bersama orang yang salah, itu neraka nyeeeetttt. Tp ya balik lagi, gmn caranya kita tau itu yg bener?
i wish God put a tag named ours on their neck or something like "Basita's" or "Vira's"
ReplyDeletejadi kita gak perlu repot-repot cari si yang paling bener itu nyeet.
tinggal intip aja lehernya. argh.
tapi kalo preferensi kita untuk hidup sendiri sih kayaknya emang murni ketakutan deh.
keparnoan akibat perjalanan hidup ini.
huah. skrg sih gue gak mau ngarep apa-apa deh.
relationship or things like that, from now on gue akan anggap sebagai compliment aja. biar mereka yang ngebuktiin kalo emang mereka yang terbaik buat gue.
udah cukup deh waktu gue buat cari-cari tau.
if you want me, come and find me.
show me what you have.
show me the logic of the reason why should I share the rest of my life with you.
if no one can show that, i'd rather be alone.
i'd rather just deal with my good friends and families.
(ciailaah skrg aja bisa ngomong giniii...)
ya intinya kita cupu sih.
ReplyDeleteteralu cupu untuk kecewa lagi.
gak berani ambil resiko unuk sesuatu yang jadi kelemahan kita sejak kita ketemu nyet.
jadi gue sih memilih untuk nggak ngarep.
ngarep adalah langkah awal kita buat sakit hati lagi. hedeeehh. PR.
"if you want me, come and find me.
ReplyDeleteshow me what you have.
show me the logic of the reason why should I share the rest of my life with you.
if no one can show that, i'd rather be alone."
setuju! dan terkadang ya vir, gue ngerasa being together with someone itu justru menggali semua sifat-sifat buruk lo. Dimana lo udah terlalu nyaman sama seseorang sampe lo bs jadi diri lo yang sebenar-benarnya sampe ke hal-hal yang ngilfilin sekalipun. Berfikir setai-tainya elo, masih ada orang yang akan selalu sayang sama lo yang justru membuat elo semakin tai..contohnya adalah... gue :D dan sifat temperamental gue. :D
Itulah kenapa kadang gue berfikir kalo orang sendirian itu malah bisa lebih relax dan nggak dikungkung ketakutan-ketakutan tertentu.
terima kasih for the wishes yaaa i really hope my marriage life will be full of laughs, tears (yes, you're not misread it) and of course love :p walopun mungkin ga bakalan se perfect itu juga sih nantinya hehe
ReplyDeletei'm getting married because i want to make a bigger dreams which i can't do it alone..build it with my future hubby and childrens..just as simple as that ;p
kalo mnrt gw elo bukan takut sama marriage partnya tapi takut you're not spending your marriage life with THE RIGHT person..mungkin it's because you have some kind of trauma in relationship, bener ga? hehe
in my opinion kita ga akan pernah tau orang itu adalah orang yg tepat utk kita atau bukan..maka dr itu harus yakin..
gimana caranya supaya yakin? yg itu gw ga tau jawabannya hehe i guess every people has a different way to feel it dan nantinya pasti elo jg akan find your own way..
as for me, smp skrg gw jg ga tau if your brother is the right person for me or not hehe tp ya selama gw dan dia sama2 mau menahan ego masing2 tanpa alasan yg masuk akal (ngapain repot2 ngalah kan klo bisa egois hahaha)then hopefully we'll be just fine..
we will not find our right person if we dont feel right with ourself..jd ya emang harus berdamai sm diri sendiri dulu sih, accept our weaknesses and strength then we'll be able to accept our partner completely..daaaan coba deh pertanyaannya dibalik jadi am i the right person for him/her? yah what you give is what you get kaaan..gw blg gini pasti elo akan berargumen gini deh "gw uda ngelakuin ini tp apa balesan dr pihak sana? bla bla bla" remember dear dont expect life to be fair, cause it wont ;p
gini deh kalo uda suka sm sesuatu pasti elo ga akan pernah bosen kan? kya nulis dan baca, you never get bored with those 2 things right? yah mungkin analoginya ga sebanding but i believe you get my point..
marriage is a never ending challenges, it will growth depends on how you take care things within it
oh dan alasan yang ini --> "I've been with him/her everyday and I just can't imagine myself being alone without him/her."
sepertinya gw dulu pernah denger deh someone said this to me hihihihi
and dont forget even Aung San Suu Kyi (which can be said bring the feminist power, at least for me) have a great husband behind her back ;p
lah kok jadi pajang gini yaaa? hahaha
well, after all that's just my opinion ;p
banyak typo deh komen gw di atas, tp males gw benerin biarin aja ya haha td soalnya nulisnya di tengah2 kepenatan saat lembur ;p
ReplyDeletegue setuju sama mba dita (eh, halo pacarnya mas banu...)
ReplyDelete"we will not find our right person if we dont feel right with ourself..jd ya emang harus berdamai sm diri sendiri dulu sih, accept our weaknesses and strength then we'll be able to accept our partner completely..daaaan coba deh pertanyaannya dibalik jadi am i the right person for him/her? yah what you give is what you get kaaan.."
dan the best part nya "dont expect life to be fair, cause it wont"
jadi jalani saja dengan santai.
love come when you less expect it.
krn sebenernya lo tau ko kalo nanti lo ketemu jodoh lo.
cuma kadang rasa tau itu ketutup sama rasa takut yang jauh lebih gede.
jadi ya santai ajalahh..anyiiing.
*trs emosi (???)
oya, kalo nikah undang-undang ya mba..hehehe
ReplyDelete*colongan*
halo halo semua... haha udah rame aje tau2...
ReplyDelete@Mbak Dits : Aduh benar sekali semua kata2 lo itu mbak. dan memang gue terlalu banyak nyimpen ketakutan dan pandangan skeptis aja towards marriage. Ya kenapa ya? Dari yang paling dasar deh, I looked at my father and mother. Dan iya, emang namanya cewek pasti nyimpen lah keinginan untuk married, tapi satu lagi ketakutan gue dan lagi-lagi lo bener, "takut you're not spending your marriage life with THE RIGHT person" karena, hmmm kalo kita udah yakin, apa pasangannya yakin? Apa yakin di mulut aja? Apa bener? Apa bener? hahaha tuh ngebayanginnya aja takut gue. Tapi kalo kita udah yakin dan di tengah jalan semua ttp berantakan, gmn? gimana coba???? (lagi2 skeptis hahahaha)
oh dan alasan yang ini --> "I've been with him/her everyday and I just can't imagine myself being alone without him/her." iya, semua org pasti tu kaya gitu. Unsur kebiasaan itu gede bgt mempengaruhi setiap hubungan. Dulu, gue kaya gitu, makanya nggak pengen kaya gt lagi mbak. But the question still remained somehow, bisa nggak ya? Dan lagi-lagi pikiran negatif gue membawa bayang-bayang gimana kalo si alasan sompret satu itu membuat gue kelak bertahan dengan laki-laki yang tidak tepat. aaaarrrghhh!!!
Tp bener kata lo, ini semua krn gue belom bs berdamai dengan diri gue sendiri aja sih mbak. Ego gue masih mendominasi bgt (babasmendominasi) dan still trying hard to find the positiveness inside me kok. hehehe
pgn jalanin dengan santai, tp kadang kok susah ya? hehehe krn ya itu, gue dikuasai ketakutan2 gue sendiri dan kepala gue dipenuhi what ifs yg ga berenti2.
@vira kita sudah cukup banyak berbincang2 di telpon saya rasa. hehehehe